Fear of people and volunteering don
I signed up to sort medical supplies at a warehouse for two days. The whole initiative has to deal with taking supplies from hospitals that don't need them and then delivering them to countries that don't have what they need. I felt really good about helping out. But then I actually arrived at the facility and things got so much worse.
For one, I underestimated how loud I would have to talk with my mask on. Every time I would ask a question about where supplies go or how to box them, the supervisors would ask me to repeat myself over and over. I felt like they were so frustrated with me. I just wanted to disappear, and eventually I had to stop asking questions because my fear of confrontation escalated to the point where it was unbearable. But then I just seemed even more incompetent because I was putting things in the wrong places.
There was a also one supervisor who was very curt, which isn't something inherently bad, but he just seemed so angry at me. I began panicking every time he said something about my organization or declined the stuff I had sorted because it was expired. I felt so dumb in front of everyone. And on top of that, I couldn't even seem polite because I was wearing a mask. I feel like everyone hates me.
Maybe I'm just overreacting. I don't know. But I feel a little better after venting.
@mootmoot16
Hey! I think it's amazing that you volunteered, but i'm so sorry that you had this experience. You aren't overreacting at all! I just want you to know that it's totally normal to feel this way and I know I would feel overwhelmed if I were in your position. It doesn't help that you were treated curtly either. If it makes a difference, just know that you still made a difference and you aren't stupid at all! You have an extremely kind heart, and I think you're an amazing person!
I have traits of social anxiety with psychosis, I was moved by your title so I wanted to be able to share with you and encourage you with some words. First I wanted to say, with this phobia comes a lot of pressure as it is, and you were very strong to be able to first apply for this position, next carry it out, and self care is needed in high anxiety situations. Do you have anything a comfort item a comfort thought a comfort place in your mind, anything of this nature? I just want to let you know you are strong.
@outcastshadows I really appreciate your support. I was definitely in need of some self care once I got home. My comfort item is a seal plushie. I pretty much just passed out while holding it immediately after volunteering.
@mootmoot16
I'm happy you have that seal plushie it's a beautiful relationship humans and their comfort.