How Do I Live A Normal Teenage Life?
I'm 15 yrs old and idk I need someone to talk/relate to. I thought I was just shy ever since 7th grade. I used to be scared of ppl who were taller, being in places with older people such as high schoolers, etc. I used to be absent every time we had to individually do something in front. I get really sick bc stress during exams and I hated being judged, I felt like my classmates talked about me when I was absent and that people were always looking at me everywhere I go. Two people liked me in 7th grade, one being 2 yrs older than me n the other being my classmate. I had this feeling that I had to be crush-worthy in front of 'em, so in class and outside, I kept fixing my hair, etc. (even worse than usual) All of that went on for 2 yrs until now. Before, I loved making friends, I can still start convos. Now, I'm quiet until I talk to one of my friends, n even then I get this feeling where I've got to be interesting, funny n worth their time. I make excuses to ppl who want to bond w me bc i can't handle their attention, ever since last yr, as well as not going to parties. I can't even speak to people lots bc I'm always thinking of what to say. I don't even know why I'm like this, I can't go to the doctor n find out if I really have anxiety bc parents. I feel so stressed abt the past n future. I feel so scared of everything, I feel like shit I feel like everyone hates me even tho they obviously don't, idek why I'm feeling this way, I just feel scared all the time do i even have anxiety?
nahh *u*
Trust me, I've been there. Hell, sometimes I'm still there. A lot of what you're saying sounds very familiar. Everything you described sounds like social anxiety disorder. Don't be frightened by those words though. ''Disorder'' sounds scary because of the stigma that lies on mental health issues. And on some level, SAD is scary. But it's also very treatable and you're not alone. One of the things my therapist first told me is that social anxiety disorder is one of the most common issues people have. This surprised me because usually when you suffer from it, you feel like you're all alone. Truth is, many people suffer from it and know exactly what you're going through and how hard it is.
I highly recommend getting therapy, because it is the best known 'remedy' for social anxiety. If you're anxious about your parents finding out, well, I understand. It took me over 6 months to tell my mother I had anxiety and depression. Once I finally said it, I felt relieved and was pleasantly surprised at the amount of support and understanding I was treated with.
Of course you don't have to get into therapy if you don't want to. Talking with the listeners on here is definitely a big help. Another thing you can do yourself is making an exposure list. This is a detailed explanation I found on psychcentral.com :
''An exposure hierarchy is a list – akin to a ladder – where you write down situations that cause you anxiety, in order of severity. Then you perform the easiest behavior, and keep moving up the list.
To create your own hierarchy, list 10 anxiety-provoking situations, and rate them on a 100-point scale (zero being no anxiety; 100 being severe anxiety). Your list might start with asking a stranger for directions and end with joiningToastmasters.
This website features a link to various worksheets on coping with social anxiety, and includes the fear and avoidance hierarchy. (Look for managing social anxiety: workbook.)''
Doing the things that make you anxious is one of the things that CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) mainly revolves around too. Think about it like this:
If someone said ''Gravity isn't real!'' The best way to prove to them that gravity is in fact real, is to pick up a pen, hold it up in the air and release your grip on it. Inevitably the pen will fall, proving gravity to your friend. Same thing goes with social anxiety. Your anxiety is telling you ''Social interactions are extremely dangerous, better to stay as far away from them as possible''. By putting yourself in anxiety provoking social situations you show your anxiety that they are not dangerous, and that it can stop being anxious all the time.
On your growth path you can also find wonderful mindfulness guided meditations which can be a tremendous help. I hope you can find something that works for you.
How do i live a normal teenage life? I don't think I have a normal teenage life, I believe nobody has a normal life. One of the things I struggle with that isn't so normal is friends, most kids my age has friends but not me. People say " I'm a loner" but they don't understand what being a loner really is! I have no friends and when I say no friends I mean not even one. I sit at a lunch table alone every day, I hate group projects because everybody wants to work with their friends and I'm left working alone because nobody wants to work with the loner kid. I love school but I can't stand the loneliness sometimes, everything is okay when I get home. I have my cousin and little cousin, I'm only alone when I'm at school.
@Cheyanne16 Aww I had a similar experience. Loners/nerds/geeks unite! lol I read this article today about social exclusion bullying, and it really helped me to feel I'm not alone. I believe I really was bullied in this way. Half the time I wasn't even sure it was real.
https://childpsychologist.com.au/social-exclusion-at-school/
@mariasabin Honey, you are young and DO NOT need to go to some psych and be put on medication and diagnosed w/some disorder! You are just experiencing the teenage years, but unfortunately this generation is messed up. Stop concentrating on what other people think of you. At your 10 year high school reunion, it won't even matter that you had acne or were chubby or wore glasses .. it's what you decided to do w/your life. Concentrate on your grades and what career you want and what college you want to go to. Stop going on that stupid Facebook. Catch onto a hobby. I used to like to draw a lot and sing and I played the saxophone and soccer. I lost all my hobbies b/c I was too busy partying and trying to be cool. Now I am a mechanic. I want you to make something better out of yourself. :)
