How do I get to love myself?
Hi,
I found that a lot of my anxious thoughts are a direct or indirect result from my low self esteem. At least this is my hope so I am wondering how do I get better?
I just can't be proud of myself no matter what I do. I just want to be able to congratulate myself for my achievements but I always see myself looking at other peoples lifes and I will always second guess my life choices because I never have a real plan. I just kinda stumble through life and I am sorry for this rambly mess of a post :/
In the end I think it is a self esteem problem / at least a good portion is hidden there
Hey!
I think you already did the first step with realizing that you have to build up your self-esteem.
What I'd ask first is: do you speak to yourself nicely? I think my selflove journey started with stopping my self deprecating jokes. I stopped jokingly saying how stupid I am or other bad things. Instead I tried to compliment myself more, even just in a joking way.
And when someone gives a compliment, don't push it down, just say thank you and move on. You don't have to believe it at first, but don't be self deprecating.
Also self destructive selftalk. My most used exchange now is "I'll jump into a pile of feathers and have a party". Everyone will still laugh but you don't talk yourself into destruction.
And once you're doing this for a while you can start to see it as well.
Then maybe start by giving yourself love as you would like a mother to do? Usually when I start to hate my body or my work I'll imagine myself hugging me gently and tell myself that I'm perfect the way I am and that I gave it my best and that's all that matters.
Slowly but surely those things will work out. There are things about my body I hated for years, now I look at the mirror and adore them.
A lot of it starts by acceptance instead of love. Accept your work as it it, it could have been better but it could also have been worse. And if it was actually bad, you can always use it to learn.
Acceptance first, selflove second.
I wish you best of luck and a lot of strength for your selflove journey. I can tell you, it's definitely worth the work!
Hi 😊
You hit the nail on the head with the first question. I definetly do not talk nice to me and I sometimes dont even notice it. And with the compliments you are also spot on.
I really like the substitution of self deprecating jokes with just funny sayings!
Thank you so much for your kind words! ❤️
Believe me, I didn't even realize how badly I talked to myself in the beginning as well.
I asked my brother and my friends to always stop me when I'm talking badly about myself or when I make jokes on my own cost and you wouldn't believe just HOW often that happened.
The nice thing about it was that once I started doing this, more and more people around me started trying as well! Self love is definitely contagious. 😂
And yeah! People will laugh about you saying "this doesn't really butter my croissant" with a straight face just as much as when you make a joke about yourself. Honestly? The absurdity of the first one makes the people actually laugh even more! 🤗
Thank youu so much for this 💓
Selflove is an experience that's best when shared. 💕
Thank you it feels good to not be alone.
I will definetly start looking more into it thank you :)
Wow that's a really powerful question/statement which will equal honest reflection, it's not easy to do at the best of time .
So right now I'm going of if I don't love myself how can I love or be loved
Thank you for your insight :)
Hey,I’m glad you reached out!
Whenever you find yourself unhappy or questioning things, just remember that there are people there to help you through the way, consult family or friends, or even the listeners here, anybody that could give you advice to make you feel better. Also remember to do the things you like and care for yourself. You can’t move on in life unless you care for yourself first.
Just keep going,don’t let the small things worry you and just have a good time! Live your life and see the beauty in the things you love!
I think its a loooooooong way, and its a hard travel you need to work step by step, working daily with affirmations, acceptation, and many other things. I am also struggling with self-esteem, hope you reach your goal
