I always fear what people will think of me?
Can anyone here give me some good examples of how to not feel like a piece of crap when I'm meeting new people. I didn't have the best time in school and left with no friends and also am dealing with the aftermath of an abusive childhood. Although I can accept this and am trying to move on with therapy, I still always dread to really know what people think of me. How can I feel ok when even I don't like myself? Does anyone have any genuinely helpful advice?
@Nairhair95
I've dealt with that a lot, still do sometimes. I think as I got older I just stopped caring too much what people thought because they don't know me. Not eve my family or spouse really know me. I won't give power to someone who has never met me or met me briefly and made a quick judgment of who they thought i was. All that matters is that I'm being me regardless of what people think of me. If they like me good, if they don't, they can move alnog. I don't need everyone to like me, only those that matter the most to me.
I always fear of what other people thought of me.
I know how you feel. It's hard for me, too. I can't always deal with this, but sometimes I just say to myself: "These people are too busy with themselves, the don't have time to judge you. But if they do, they must be even more bored by then." Try it and let me know if that would help you :) Take care!
@Nairhair95 aww I am sorry for how you feel... See just know one thing When you feel like it just remember they also will be feeling like it when they meet new people :) So both the sides have the same worry :( But its okay to be like that :) It is not wrong :) I always feel like they may judge me if I talk like a crack haha :) But I understood It is okay :) We dont need everyone to like us :) Stay strong :)
@TaniyaCJ Thanks. It gets easier the more I put myself out there and get used to the different variety of people out there. My only issue is I still struggle to put myself out there at all because I know some people will not like me and will end up hurting my feelings. It's difficult to welcome pain into your life but I also realise I may get joy and fulfillment as well. It's a struggle but we all have things we struggle with, so I know I'm not the only one.
@Nairhair95 Well honey, you just said it that you know what will happen (You said that some people may not like you ) You already know who will like you and who will not. It is not about who likes you it is about what you've tried. you know you can be proud about the way you dealt them. it is their choice to like you or not and that should'nt affect you because afterall you tried <3 You were brave enough to talk even though you know the "maybes" . It is okay and It is going to be okay <3 It is not about winning it is about participating <3 and you already gained me <3 gained us maybe :) I already like you :) And I am looking forward to have a conversation with you :) It is okay honey :) The problem is common but you going through it makes you unique and inspired <3 Keep the fire.. and remember some even love HITLER after all XD <3 you know the world :) You need don't need everyone to like.. You just need few true hearts to love you :) Keep spreading love <3
Love you xoxo,
- Taniya CJ
It can be very overwhelming to think about how others feel about you.
Hi again @Nairhair95
I'm sorry to hear that meeting new people is overwhelming to you. What I'm saying now might not be the best advise, but it's the one that helped me the most. Of course we're all different, but I wanted to write to you anyway.
From my therapist I was told to slowly expose myself to situations that I felt uncomfortable with. For me it was saying something during class for other members in my therapy group it was shopping by themselves. Slowly but consistently exposing us to what we felt anxious about was a true help. For me what did it was to start out slow (as recommended) by saying one thing during the day in a class. Not every class during the day just one. I got all the usual anxiety symptoms, though I fought through it. After a few times where I had experienced that nothing was wrong, I tried the "fake it till you make it" attitude. Saying that I was good at speaking in front of a lot of people already and that this was just another time where I'd do good.
I hope this technique will somehow help you, if not just to make up your own technique 
@PetiteSara thanks for the advice. I think I'm just out of practice with socialising because I don't leave the house much so I don't do any socialising. So yeah the exposure technique would probably help. I remember times where I tried getting out of the house to do shopping and was talking to sales assistants and I felt like my conversations got less awkward.
I just think not having friends is a massive wound that keeps getting poked at. It hurts every time I'm reminded of it. I feel like I'm always going to be insecure about it because It wasn't my choice to not have friends, I would have loved to have had friends. So should I just pretend like I have friends around people so they're not weirded out?
