I feel that in ruining my friendships
I feel that i'm ruining my friendships. I try to avoid hanging out with my friends because i feel that im doing a favour to them. I only hang out when I feel at my best and im not concious about every single thing i say or do. I forgot when was the last time i enjoyed myself without being self concious and thinking that im ruining the mood.
Sometimes i like to sit in the streets and watch how people socialize with no efforts. Makes me want to be like that one day
@nostalgica
It sounds like you are trying so hard to make your friendship works, and the best way is to show the best of you to your friends. You mention that you are conscious about every single thing you say or do. Worry about watching and judgment by others does make people want to run away. Here are some ways to deal with social anxiety.
1. Stop Anxious Thinking: The thinking about " What if...". This thinking triggers the automatic thought that makes tragic non-exist scenarios about things you are worried about. For example, " What if I don't know what to say makes awkward moments of silence?". Try to practice telling which part of the thinking is fact and which part is imaginary. This can help you to stop automatic thoughts that scare you.
2. Stop Inaccurate Thinking: This is a big category. Including thoughts like labeling, bad memories, avoidance, etc. Try to challenge your negative thought like "I am ruining my friendship." Find the facts that support this statement is not true. And find the new truth. Like "My friend is ok with me even I am not perfect." That is one of the facts that prove the negative thinking was inaccurate.
Another thing that might help is expressing how you feel to your friends and asking them to try and tag team some of your things you struggle with. It may help to have them aware of what you’re struggling with so that they can recognize when you’re struggling and you can come up with things together to help get you through when you have difficult situations or emotions come up.
hang in there! You’re absolutely worthy of having people love you!
Hope that helps!