I made someone feel uncomfortable. How should I make it up to her?
So, Id been texting this girl that Id liked (even though I did not know her really well) for a couple of weeks. The conversation was pretty one sided with me asking all the questions and her giving short responses, responses that were hard to bounce off from. It wasnt going anywhere and I was getting increasingly discouraged in my social abilities. Am I this bad at engaging in conversations? Is it me or the girl? Every single time I tried texting this girl, I get nervous of her response. What if this is a stupid question? Does she really care what I did this afternoon? What does her short responses mean?
My fears came to a head just yesterday night. We were having a slow conversation about her summer plans. Then, suddenly, out of unconscious desparation, I foolishly decided to shift the topic to something I could easily talk about: my mental illness. I asked her if she sometimes had trouble talking to her friends and if she would meticulously think through her every words - to which she responded with ..... and you low key make me feel uncomfortable 😱 (Ive divulged personal life details like this to her before). I quickly explained my problems with social anxiety and how I was trying to deal with it through increased usage of social media, but the damage was already done. I understand that its my fault for telling someone I didnt really know weird details about my problems, but sometimes it just seeps out. What should I do?
I mean I'm quite bad at this stuff too but maybe a brief thing like "I'm sorry if I said anything that made you uncomfortable" would at least be appropriate. As for everything else, maybe she's just not much of a texter and it would be less one sided by talking, or maybe you've overshared/pushed a bit too much and it's best to leave the sinking ship (after the apology).
@Phthalo
Yeah, after my explanation, I did end up giving a heartfelt apology. I wished her best of luck on her summer plans and then left the sinking ship......Now, looking back at the conversation, I probably should have been a bit more careful about sharing personal information. I was nervous and desperate for something to talk about. Theres no way for me to get a hold of her in person, so the best thing to do is to probably end it.
Thanks for your response! I really appreciate it!
@understandingNickel6823
It depends on how important she is to you. I think sometimes it's better to accept that you're not connecting with the other person and that sometimes a clarification can make things even worse. If she was interested in you, the conversation wouldn't be one sided. And in fact I think she might have even been uncomfortable before you talked about the mental illness. Personally I would leave it and move on to someone you can talk to.
@IntoTheWhite
Yeah, the last thing I want to do is continue an uncomfortable relationship; I need to move on. I did recognize that we werent connecting well, though I continued the conversation in the vain hope that it would somehow get better.
Thanks for the response!
