I’m lonely, but making friends scares me
I’ve had a long-running situation where putting myself into situations that could help me make friends becomes terrifying for me, and often I will shut down and my flight response kicks in. I have extreme trust issues and a history of being hurt, so I tend to throw walls up very quickly and often. Because of this, I’ve become very lonely, and now I feel like I need human contact, but I can’t bring myself to commit to seeking it out. I feel trapped, and honestly even typing this post out is stressing me out a bit. Any advice?
Hi Will!
Social anxiety is horrible and can really affect our ability to form relationships with others - I'm sorry your experiencing this.
From what it sounds like, your trust issues may be the cause of your flight response kicking in in social settings. This is very common. Your mind may now be perceiving people as "dangerous" because you've been hurt by them so much in the past.
Have you ever considered talking to a therapist about your experiences? I think they would really be able to help you with your trust issues and anxiety.
Also, have you had a read through the social anxiety self help guide (https://www.7cups.com/social-anxiety/)? The guide contains some exercises that you may find helpful!
Another thing you could try is being an active member on 7 Cups and try to build friendships with people on here. I think it may help ease some of your anxiety, which might make it easier to connect with people in person.
I wish you the best of luck! ❤
Hello, new joiner.
I have similar situation though the main reason for my anxiety is due to my sexual orientation and how it makes me uncomfortable to fully open up with people.
I need a lot of time to get comfortable with new people, timid, and not confident. The lack of real friends and social life have been straining my relationship with my partner as we both live away from our family and friends in different country. Every time we fight, she always brings up the lack of social support and neutral party to share their more objective inputs.
The country we currently live is more progressive from where we were born, but the society's view towards LGBTQ is still developing.
Would be happy to chat with anyone here and probably have conversation about life, relationship, and all.
