Late Night Arguments
I just had an argument with an ex that I saw posting on Facebook about controversial topics (privilege, trigger warnings, etc.). I only talked about the first topic, privilege and what it means to have an advantage in the world, for ~3 hours on via text, and I haven't been able to go to sleep since (it's 4 AM right now). My stomach is in knots, and I'm so anxious from having the conversation with him (I have barely spoken to him since breaking up senior year of high school, so that's also a factor- ironically I think he was a trigger for my anxiety). The topic was important, and I'm glad I had he discussion, but he wasn't very nice at all and he ended the conversation when he got frustrated and couldn't think of a response (he played it off like I was being childish for wanting a response, but I cut my losses and ended the conversation– I think he was the one that ended the conversation abruptly and childlishly). But I know tomorrow I'm going to be thinking about it all day. I just am looking for some reassurance, I would like to improve on my ability to go through challenging debate and conversation without having a knot in my stomach, I almost feel guilty, although I was very civil in my conversation. I want to know that it was OK for me to get into a heated conversation, and have an opinion, and I want to be able to face an uncomfortable situation and not get anxious and worried.
Sorry this was technically the wrong forum to post in :S
@faithfulBranch360
ok, first why you text your ex? it's finished, end of the story. Stay away from him for your own good.
It's his fb acc so he can post whtvr he likes, he has right to have his opinion, you have right to not give a fuck about it
I get it, all of us have some values and we hate 'em being violated, but if he's posting sth tottaly opposite to your point of view, do you think one or two or even ten conversation will change his mind? (spoiler alert: No, it won't).
Well if you want to have meaningful discussion find place where people actually give a shit about it. Like a forum or sth.
Everywhere in the fb/any site comment section/most places in the net you find trolls, people who dont know shit about something, but they act like know-it-all's. It's pointless to discuss with 'em. It's good to have your own opinion and to stand for it, but in most cases yu only waste your time, and your breath.
And a question: why you feel guilty? For standing for your opinion? You did the right thing, gratz.
Just understand that most of ppl in the net will argue or post sth controversial just for the sake of it.
@Gab3n honestly you are very right, it was a waste of my breath because there was no changing his mind. He definitely had the right to post what he wanted, but he's been in the comment section of multiple friends' Facebook posts so it's been hard to avoid. But yes I do feel good that I voiced what I wanted to– that's how change begins, and I think the comment below speaks to more of my anxiety- like I obsess over conversations, and this one in particular was a more prominent one to get anxious about. But everything you said was very helpful, so thank you.
I sometimes get a bit obsessed with a conversation and find it hard to move on. Thinking about what was said, how I would carry on with a discussion etc
@Belis Yeah this is exactly how my anxiety comes into play– like I rerun the conversation in my head and it's hard to let go of. I think about things I could've said better. But in the end there was no changing their mind, so ultimately the conversation would've ended up the same ways. Thank you though, for putting into simple words about how we can get anxious about conversations like this. I know it'll pass in a few days, maybe a week, and just like our relationship, it will be an afterthought.
@faithfulBranch360 with everything going on today, it is hard to not get caught up in these discussions. They are all over social media. Anyway, I feel like you have every right to feel the way you do. It's ok to disagree and discuss the disagreement as well.
With any triggers to your anxiety it might help to remember that it is in the past, you got through it, and it's ok.
Also, anytime there are moments you feel uncomfortable it could help to know that the feeling is normal, to just be yourself, and know that the moment is temporary (so it is ok to let it go and not dwell on it).
