My girlfriend of 3 years asked for a break due to my OCD, too much weight on her shoulders.
My relationship with this woman has always been healthy, loving, supportive, respectful, and very caring. I love this woman with my whole entire heart and I want to marry her. I have OCD and I put too much weight on her shoulders. I made her out to be my therapist, she felt dependent on my happiness, she felt like she needed to be perfect and if she wasn't she felt like a disappointment. She doesn't know what she wants anymore but she says she loves me so much. A break has happened before, last summer due to it but it only lasted a day because she couldn't imagine her life without me, but I don't know if I'm going to get as lucky this time. She wanted me to go to therapy before but I told her I couldn't due to my financials and I was too much of a coward to tell my parents. Now I'm in this spot where I could potentially lose the love of my life and I can't bear the thought of my life without her. She is everything to me. I finally opened up to my parents about getting therapy and I found a therapist that can help me. I'm going to start going because I know I need to get better and I want to get better for me, and hopefully the relationship. We love each other and I know with therapy that weight could be off her shoulders. I just hope that it's not too late. She says she loves me I just hope that it's enough. I'm fucking broken with how I made her feel it was never my intention. I hate myself for doing this to the person I love the most.
I made her feel that she couldn't be trusted due to my intrusive thoughts, I always needed reassurance. I feel fucking terrible for what I have done. I am making a change going to therapy for me. It's just a break, but I hope to god that she comes back to me. I just want her to be happy, but I hope it's with me. She is the love of my life. I wish I could tell her everything but I know I need to give her space. I respect her and I understand where she is coming from. I just wish I knew. I'm praying that this isn't over. She loves me and she told me that she does.
I know that I will get better with a therapist and I know we could have a healthier dynamic with that weight off her shoulders. I just hope she wants the same.
You might try talking to an art of living teacher about this...perhaps Dr. Nisha or her husband Dr. Manikantan Menon or Bharti Verma or out of Art of Living an Ayurvedic doctor like Dr.Raju (www.drraju.com) - I think this OCD is likely beatable with indian healing...hope it helps!
Sorry that your feeling this way, however I think you should try just worrying and working on you to be honest. And your confidence
Hey brother,
I don't know how your relationship is completely but I hope for the best for you both. But I think you shouldn't worry about her and your relationship so much. It seems like it's just adding to your stress and anxiety. I think you should fix you first and make sure you can thrive on your own before worrying about your relationship. If you guys split, than you split and it's jus not part of God's plan. But you have to take care of you first and the rest will follow. I know that could be and is very hard but it jus seems like stressing over a girl you like could make it worse, especially if something happened or she breaks your heart and trust in the end... Good luck and God bless
