Social Anxiety Fears of Not Being Enough or Worth People's Time
Hi everyone. This is my first thread post and I normally would not do this kind of thing as I am not comfortable with it, but it is on my growth path and it can be enlightening to do things you're uncomfortable with sometimes so here goes! I have pretty serve social anxiety and an official diagnosis of social anxiety and PTSD which both centre around a pretty traumatising event. I feel like many people don't understand social anxiety and the fact that we all express it in different ways which I didn't before I got it at the age of 23.
For example, I hate large groups. I cannot do anything large group related like concerts without freaky out and needing to find some space for myself far, far anyway from the maddening crowd so I don't go now. It's even worse inside. Inside, I start to have problems with small groups. I don't tell many people my struggles, because they do not understand it. I don't see many people to tell my struggles to to be fair. I have lost almost all of my friends due to my social anxiety and I actively avoid everyone, but my husband because of it. I feel like I am losing my family now too and I have never really told them of my struggles. How do all of you approach the subject with your family, boss, and new people? Also, when do you tell your boss and new people in your life. My newest goal is to make a friend so hopefully, if I do, I can use the advice I get here!
@akay06
Hi! Thank you so much for sharing. Now, I want to say that I can relate with what you're feeling. I don't like large crowds, and sometimes I feel anxiety just with simple things such as calling someone on the phone, or having to go out and socialize with someone new. On the other hand, you should approach this topic keeping in mind that it might be a step to starting relationships or enforcing some of these. Also, you should speak about this if you feel like the other person should now (example, new people). You don't have to feel obligated about sharing this struggle with any person specially when it's completely personal.
Now, I want to share with you a technique I was suggested (it's your decision if you want to try it, or not). You could write out what you would like to say (it can be writing a letter to someone in particular, or just in general). Read it, make changes, see if you can recognize patterns you haven't seen before, and so on. When you're done, try reading or talking through what is in the letter in the mirrow. While you're doing this, try to identify different things: how you feel, if your voice trembles... Maybe identifying this can help you find a way to deal with it. Lastly, don't hold back on what you're trying to say. Let them know everything you feel like it's important: behaviours, things that might trigger you, and much more.