Social Anxiety can be harder than most people think - Getting help.
Hey guys :D I was doing some thinking and after seeing just how many people on here have some form of social anxiety it'd be nice to discuss something.
What is the hardest things about seeking out help for your social anxiety?
What I think when I ponder this question is the fact that although there will be so many places you can go to for help, and different things that can be done; there usually always is one big problem - most of it puts you in a social situation to do so. Think about it, if you have problems with being scared of spiders you wouldn't go ask a spider for help, you'd be too scared to try that, so why is it for most help with social anxiety we have to go and talk to people about it? D: It seems to be a big dilemma as you have to go through a lot of hardship and face your social anxiety and take it head on to be able to even try to get help most of the time, this just makes it way too hard to get help most of the time in my opinion, I'd be glad to hear everyone else's opinion on this :D
They are paid to care. No one in their right mind would actually care about me. I'll never be good enough for anyone to want to be in my life.
Receiving is the other side of when we are offered help, understanding, teachings and love and we turn it down because we don't want to receive help, feel unworthy or afraid to be seen as weak. Receiving help, receiving grace that is offered is awareness practice. Though people may be paid to help you, try to be aware that you are working with a person who CHOSE to become a professional at helping people. You have the best of the best helpers. You are gifted with this. Try to look around become aware of the kind acts, helping hands, and love around you. And pass it on to others.
@Jenjenchik Good words my friend :p
@Jenjenchik No one is ever around.
@lonelytrash Well maybe talk to a listener on here then? :o we aren't being paid to do anything here, we jsut volunteer our time because we care about people <3
@KeananWillListen And thank you so much for your gracious time.😊💟❤
@ivoryBunny7465 You are very much welcome :p
@KeananWillListen I have tried to talk to listeners on here for a couple years now. It doesn't help and nothing has changed.
@lonelytrash
You are the vehicle for change. People can give you tools, but you need to use them to bring the change you want. Try and think about what you want to change. What is something you can do to bring about that change? Little steps...
@Jenjenchik I could die and then I wouldn't have to feel like this anymore.
@lonelytrash As a member I was lucky to find one listener I clicked with, sometimes it takes ages, so after over a year I only found 1, that means it can be hard to find a listener sometimes, I'm sure you can if you keep trying :D just remember listeners aren't miracle makers :P They are just here to hear you out and be a kind ear and helping hand in the decisions you make :)
@lonelytrash Yes they are paid to care but can help us see we are worthy. You are so worthy of love and friendship. Once we build us back up one step at a time...we'll see we are good people just trying to lead good lives. Big hug out to you. 😆💟
@ivoryBunny7465 I know I'm a good person and I always try to help people. they just take advantage and then run away. For example. I agreed to look after someone's dog for a couple weeks while thy got settled in a new city. Well three months have passed I still have this dog and haven't received anything. I figured people might want to talk to me when I walked the dog but they just ignore me. I don't matter.
@lonelytrash These days, everyone is so busy and caught up in their lives, they often don't realize their actions. Try not to take it personal. Keep searching for good friends to support you, don't give up. They're out there. If one friendship fails, try again. Those friendships weren't meant to be. Btw, that is very kind of you to keep the dog, I'm sure it's a good companion!
@Jenjenchik it is actually completely draining and I can't do it anymore.
@lonelytrash I can totally identify with you and your trust in people . It's painful when someone takes advantage of you. You try to be kind and helpful with the advantage of maybe lasting friendships...only for them to take . The fact you still have their dog without a word. I hope you are receiving some love & comfort from your new paws😆.
Believe me you are a kind and friendly person who has a lot of compassion for people. As much as we question why people do these things to others is just that.-..they don't have what you have . We all need to be stronger with guarding ourselves a bit more.💟💟 I would live a friend like you.😊
@lonelytrash I often feel the same way
It's hard to talk to people, to me it is.....
@sunnyShip2345 Yup talking to peopel can eb a really hard thing for some, and it definitely can create so many issues *hugs* I hope you'll be able to find someone you can talk to and get some help with this :D <3
I feel weak when I ask for help and I do not want to burden others with my problems. Its not fair to them.
@DapperRaspberries Awww darling reaching ou for help never makes you weak, because the smartest of them all know it's strwength it numbers, and the fact you have to overcome so much inside your own head to do so means you have to be strong and just wanting to be stronger :D and people would only help you if they didn't feel it was too much of a burden, people tend to do what they feel is best :P I hope you'll be able to get some sort of help though <3 *hugs*
its hard tell someone about things that makes me anxious or uncomfortable because they dont care or im just wasting their time (like yours when u reading this)
@reservedWillow4381 This was not a waste of my time to read :P and if it was I wouldn't reply D: but yeah it can feel really bad to try and reach out when you not just feel ancious to do so but as if nothing will come out of it and as if they don't care, just adds so many layers to the difficulty, I hope your'e able to properly reach out sometime :D <3
Limited $$ resources from community- esp rural AND....waiting lists are so long (which should be the biggest clue). When you need help you usually need it NOW...not in 4-6 months! Grateful for 7 Cups because my family...friends don't want to listen or help. Too uncomfortable for them plus they believe they might have to "fix" you. When you don't have anyone to turn to....it elevates the pain & adds more negativity in people. Especially when they in effect reject you- makes one see.....you're not worth the effort.
Thank you everyone at 7Cups for being there for all of us struggling in our lives. Big hugs to you all!❤❤
We are all stronger when we reach out- that's healthy- NOT weakness.😆
@ivoryBunny7465 Yeah that's something new to add, when you try to get help and can't get it while you need it can be the worst thing ever as you went through so much to try and you'll have to keep going through it until the help can actually arrive D: and yay I'm glad you have 7cups and family to help you even whe nyour friends can't, some people do need to learn that it's not you need to be 'fixed' and even if it was it's take a long time and lots of effort, a lot of pain can come from things and it's another whole vicious cycle that makes things worth, and yes reaching out does make you strong :D *huggles* <3
@KeananWillListen Thanks for the support. Our lives are very different now- very detached society . We are now seeing the results of busy..socially isolated lives through this computer/social media lifestyle. (7Cups being a positive aspect. ..😅) We seem to have lost our ability to connect face to face with each other -resulting in much loneliness (?). There is so much depression now . ...it's tragic .
@ivoryBunny7465 Well nice point :p depression and anxiety commonly are linked :o but yes a lot of the world is becoming anti social anyway D: we just need to make sure we don't lose our voices to speak up, if not in real life at least via these pixels on a screen as words are one of the most powerful tools we have at our disposal ^-^ and no problem for the support :P <3
The hardest part is admitting that someone who looks and acts so much like an extrovert really doesn't want people most of the time. I worry it comes across as a lie or an excuse because I don't come across that way.
@HeyFritters awww yeah that can be a pain can't it, just wanting to get help is hard enough without having to worry what someone thinks of it, but hey remember some of the people who seem the most like one thing can always be another, a lot of people end up realising this so if you can find someone who does then you definitely can get help without feeling like it's a lie :D Hope you can do this someday <3
@KeananWillListen
That's a very interesting way to look at it
I guess it's something like stage fear...... do it enough number of times and you're not afraid anymore
what's the worst that can happen kind of worked for me
I remember when I was a kid I was insanely afraid of dogs and one day I came back from school and found that my neighbour's bulldog who was almost half my height was standing at my doorstep and staring at me after peeing all over our mattress.....
I was so scared but then I realised if I ran away I might as well be inviting trouble so I slowly backed away....
it didn't chase me... didn't do anything... my neighbour came and took him away and we stopped keeping doormats and i learnt how to slowly control my fears.... I stopped being so afraid first... calmly walk past when I see a dog... now I can ever pet domesticated dogs
it starts small
becomes big
@maskedshadow It's great you were able to get over that feat :D and yes at times conditioning yourself to them is the only way to make it better, but jsut remember that can possibly make things worse too so be careful with that one :p
How do you ask for help when you don't know how to deal with the social situation that would be required of you to obtain that help? It's a self-unbreakable loop.
@HappyAndReady Well to put it in simple terms you have to face your fears and be really strong and just go for it, sadly it soudns simple but it really really, like I mean really hard to do. :/
@KeananWillListen I hear you :-(
My thing with social anxiety is weird. I can talk about ot with my family, sometimes I think I shouldn't because I make them uncomfortable. But it's explaining to other people why I really can't go to that meeting tonight that's difficult. I'd rather stay here at home and work on my artthan risk a panic attack.
@Sylenss That makes sense though :o your family are people really close to you and you have them around you a lot of the time and as such might feel a lot more comfortable with them than others :D it's good you actually do have people close to you to help ya :D but panic attacks are just the worst </3 hope you can get over a lot of the panic attack stuff/cope better :) <3
@KeananWillListen thanks, my art seems to help a lot :)
@Sylenss yay that's amazing then :D <3
I think the hardest part is that people don't really understand, and they look at you like you should be able to snap your fingers and change how you feel. They try to understand, but they can't
@journeyon Exactly😊
maybe the only people that can truley understand tough feelings like anxiety are the ones that go through it everyday @ivoryBunny7465
@journeyon Yes I believe that too.
@journeyon
@journeyon that is so true
@journeyon hehe this was a whole seprate thing I was thinknig of talking about but I guess I'll just do it here because this really is a big problem, the ignorance of others can have such a huge affect when they don't realise it. It's the same with things like depression, you aren't just going to ever instantly get over things, it takes a lot of time and effort and you have to really be commited to it and progress may be slow and grueling but worth it in the end :D And when people are miseducated what are you doing? D: EDUCATE THEM!!! :D :p that way things can be much better ^-^ <3
