Very anxious about hanging out
Please help. I am a teenager and have never hung out with any of my friends before outside of school, and one of my friends made plans to go to the mall together in a few days. I agreed--not because i really want to go--but rather because i have never been out before with any of my friends and am sick of always feeling left out. However, im sooo incredibly nervous now. I've been crying for the past few hours and just feel so sick that im really thinking about cancelling and then just ignoring her out of embarrasssment. I dont know what i should do, does anyone have any advice or tips on how to calm myself down? Do you think i should cancel on her or try facing my fears?
@ActiveEyes
I know I'm no longer in high school, but I know what you mean. I never had time to hang out with friends outside of school much, so it was quite a rare and awkward experience. Because of this lack of outside bonding when I graduated, I didn't have school as a social venue anymore. I have lost contact with almost everyone and I've been slowly trying to make new friends.
Mind you, I'm not trying to bum you out. I'm just saying to grab any chance you get because you might have to work harder for it later. Sure it's awkward and weird and scary, but that feeling will go away over time. I find that watching a comedy or playing a game can break the ice really quickly. Laughing together is really the best way to let loose.
I think your friend may be just as likely to feel social anxiety also at least in some form even if it's not the same reasons as yours. Feeling awkward over avoiding someone is bound to feel worse than the trip would or than admitting the reason for a cancellation or rescheduling if you think attending on another day would be easier. Confidence can vary day to day so it may be less enough for you to manage on another day...sooner you get it over with will help though. Feeling of having even attempted the thing without it being as good as you hoped for will at least help you with the comfidence of having had the courage to make the attempt. <3
I know exactly how are you feeling. This is how I felt back in school days. And I was never able to force myself to do the step forward. I wish I could be more brave back then. Because this is the age when you still can make changes. Unfortunately I never did. I suffer a lot because of this. I am 29 now, and I never had a boyfrend, I have no friends, can't find job, I am scared when I go out of my house so I stay in for a months... Don't give up on yourself, fight with it now when you still have caring people around you.
Same thing happened to me and i remember at the end of the day i almost cried in front of them, it wasn't good cause i was really anxious and kept thinking about something to say, i think they noticed too but point is if that day i didn't went there i wouldn't have made what today are my friends, people that i care about just when i tought i would've been alone forever and that i would've never feel connected to someone again, so i'll tell you just go, cry over yourself (just like i did) and whatever but go anyway, you have nothing to lose, do you?
