living with people you don't want
I've always known that I need my own place and space that people could only come to if I invite them, and for six years I had it, I was living alone. And, I'm trying to be social and to enjoy time with people, but, knowing that I can go back home where I'd be alone was the comfort blanket.
Now I live with my boyfriend and his parents, we have our own section of the house but we still share the hallway, exits and the yard and I can't go out unnoticed. I worry that I was being rude if I didn't stop by to greet them which always led to chat, offerings of food and checking if my clothes are appropriate for the weather. Now I also worry that they might think something is wrong with me if I stay to myself too long, so I go and visit them daily even when I don't feel like it. On good days it easier, but now my hormones are killing me and I just want to be alone, but I feel as if I'm not allowed to be.
On top of that, of course is the usual in-law meddling but I really think it upsets me the most because they are there all the time. All-the-time. I see them looking through the window when I open the gate. I run to work because there I can relax and not feel like I am being watched, go figure.
Is it wrong to want to have my own cave of a solitude to recharge in? :)
PS: My bf is great and he respects my feelings. It's his folks that make me anxious. Just to add because from my post it seems as if he's also troubling me, lol!
@forcefulApple1006 I don't think that's wrong at all. I struggle with the same kind of conflict - there's an expectation that you shouldn't want to be alone, but I think some people need a certain amount of solitude.
I remember reading about a married couple who wrote a book about how moving into separate houses saved their marriage. I hope you find a way to get your needs met and have a satisfying relationship.
@JBlue Thank you so much for the support! Yes, it is understood that we are social species and that we should want to always be with other people, and when you are in a traditional surrounding that goes double for family relationships. Traditional families prefer large numbers of people under one roof which I love, too, but only for special occasions, NOT as my life!
