my school communicating makes me feel pathetic
i recently found out it's really difficult for me to communicate with people, especially in school. i really care about my study but i just never could come and talk to teachers about my grades etc. now when i have to study online i'm really stressed because i feel especially nervous about communicating with them online. it takes a lot of time to even just send to them my homework..
but the worst thing, this year we have to make our final school projects and because of some problems in our school we have to present them tomorrow.. i can say i didn't even start, i really wanted to choose another subject but the teacher didn't agree, she's too busy now (and i didn't want to insist) so i just chose kind of social subject and another teacher offered me to make this project.. so i have to make a survey and encourage nearly 30 people from my and parallel classes to join it. and i though it would be okay.
but then i realised i don't have any friends among parallel classes.. and even among my classmates i have not enough replies. i asked almost everyone i knew and it feels so embarassing, i have literally no replies.
i just feel ashamed. this really makes me feel i have no friends (even if i talk to people who are just not in my school) and i feel bullied (even if my classmates thanked me for help just literally today).
i have no idea what to do now, i still can try to ask others but it feels horrible, i'm now ashamed to tell my teacher i couldn't deal and didn't even tell her earlier (even if she's a school psychologist), i don't know at all what other survey i can make in my situation, i just hate myself for choosing this subject. i turned out not as cool as i thought. now i'm just so stressed i can start crying every time i feel someone can even think anything bad about me and i'm afraid to take part in anything. i wanted to join some group but just didn't dare, because i feel everyone would just ignore me.
Hi. Such thoughts can swirl and grow like a snowball. Please understand that this is just the work of the brain, which knows how to deceive us, and also tries to protect us in the way it can, in specific ways. In such a position, it is difficult to show creativity and solve the task. I want to tell you that you are not alone in your question, sometimes I feel the same. I would advise you to try to support yourself as if you were your own friend, instead of accusing you of being something different. Not everyone is as confident as they may seem. Many experience the same. This is our unity, it's just that not everyone talks about it and this state does not happen all the time. Also know that one task does not define you as a person, it's just a task. I do not know the essence of the survey that you need to do, but think about how you could get out of this situation, try to separate yourself from yourself and give yourself advice, perhaps you can even draw conclusions from the survey that not all people are ready to answer such surveys. Let this be part of the research. Also, there is nothing shameful in the fact that you sincerely tell the teacher about your feelings during this study and make a kind of study of yourself. This can be a starting point in the search for an answer for a task. This is just an option, you can come up with others. Try to go beyond those thoughts that haunt you. This may show an interesting result, even more than what you were given in the task.
And remember, you're all right, you're a great person who was able to write such a big text here and open up to the world about it. Not everyone is capable of this. But you are capable. Hugging you
