trying to help is hurting my nonexistant popularity (not that I care. I'm just sick of being punished)
In my dream world I spend my life helping people. In the real world I have a ton of ideas to help people but when I initiate something other people spoil it. I have a lot to offer but managing people isn't part of it. I've ruined my rep from a few such projects. People blame it on me. I'm the "failure" who can't land a job. People think I don't work hard. I work really hard. I just don't have much to show for it. I'm not proud of my past few yrs as a human punching bag. I've lost a lotta career op's this way. I'm kinda falling back into survival mode. I don't wanna stop helping people though. I do little things to help people usually when no one's looking but I'm afraid to take on anything I can't do alone. I've gone from aspiring change maker to sarcastic brat. I know my friends wouldn't appreciate this new me so I keep most of these thoughts in my head. I don't like being so bitter. I wanna get away from all this negativity & find ways to help people w/o needing to lead/persuade people. Any tips?
@doublelife I am sorry that no one replied to your post from last year. HOpe you were able to connect to a listener? I am always here if you need to message me. If I am unavailable I will get back to you asap.
@CaringTeresa That's sweet of you. Things are a lot better now. I was in some situations that weren't working for me which motivated me that much more to find something that does.