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The Struggle of Being Autistic and Identifying Emotions
by Jenna
Last post
August 31st
...See more **Disclaimer** I cannot and do not speak for all autistic people. As an autistic person, one of the biggest challenges I face is identifying and understanding my emotions. It’s not that I don’t feel emotions. In fact, I often experience them intensely, but I struggle to recognize and label them. This disconnect between feeling something deeply and not being able to articulate it can be confusing and overwhelming. Sometimes, emotions feel like a wave crashing over me, but I can't tell if it's sadness, anger, or frustration. Other times, I know something is off, but I can’t pinpoint exactly what it is. It's like having a whirlwind of feelings inside but no clear way to describe the storm. I might react to something, and later when I reflect, I realize I was angry or anxious, but in the moment, it was just a blur of overwhelming sensations. The process of identifying emotions can feel even more daunting for many autistic people because there’s often pressure to explain how they're feeling to others, but finding the right words doesn’t come easily. I tend to rely more on physical cues, like noticing if my body is tense, my breathing shallow, or my heart racing, as a way to recognize what I’m feeling. Sometimes it’s easier to express a feeling through a sound, like a sigh or groan, than to find the exact word to describe it. What adds to the challenge is that neurotypical people often expect quick, clear emotional responses. But for many of us with autism or neurodivergence, emotions take time to process. It can feel like we're on a delay, needing space to sit with what’s going on inside before we can understand or talk about it. I’ve had to learn that it’s okay to take that time and not rush to name my emotions if I’m not ready. Being autistic means we process the world differently, and that includes emotions. It’s a journey to understand them, and sometimes, we have to be patient with ourselves, accepting that we don’t always have the answers right away. I’ve learned to explore my emotions through journaling, creating art, or even just sitting with a feeling without trying to label it immediately. The struggle to identify emotions is real, but over time, I’ve come to see it as part of my unique way of experiencing life. For anyone else out there who shares this struggle, know that it’s okay not to have everything figured out all at once. Emotions can be complex, and finding your own way of understanding them is a process. Why Is It Difficult? * Alexithymia: A significant number of autistic people experience alexithymia, a condition where we struggle to identify and describe our own emotions. This doesn’t mean we don’t feel emotions; instead, we find it hard to pinpoint what those emotions are or how they connect to our experiences. For example, someone might feel an overwhelming physical sensation (like a knot in their stomach) but may not realize that they are anxious or upset. * Sensory Overload: Many autistic people experience sensory sensitivities, which can lead to sensory overload. When overwhelmed by stimuli like loud noises, bright lights, or even social environments, the body and mind can react intensely. In these situations, it can be hard to differentiate between physical discomfort and emotional states. For instance, an environment that feels overstimulating may trigger frustration, but the frustration itself might be difficult to separate from the overwhelming sensory input. * Nuanced Emotions: Emotions often come in layers or blends (e.g., feeling both happy and sad at the same time). Identifying these complex emotional states can be challenging for anyone, but for those on the spectrum, this complexity can feel especially confusing. Autistic people might struggle to name nuanced emotions, such as feeling bittersweet, relieved but nervous, or nostalgic. * Social-Emotional Processing: Interpreting others’ emotions can also be difficult, which in turn complicates identifying one's own emotions. Social cues that neurotypical individuals pick up on such as facial expressions, tone of voice, or body language may be harder to interpret for those on the spectrum. This can create a disconnection between what an autistic person feels internally and how they understand the emotional dynamics around them. * Communication Barriers: Language may not always feel like an appropriate tool for expressing emotions. Many autistic people may struggle with verbalizing their feelings, not because they don’t understand them, but because words don’t seem to fully capture the intensity or quality of what they’re experiencing. Non-verbal expressions like sounds, movements, or even art can sometimes be more effective than trying to 'find the right words.' The Emotional Disconnect Because emotions and their physical manifestations may not always align clearly, autistic individuals can experience a sense of emotional disconnect. For instance, they may feel strong emotions but not show them in a way that others expect, leading to misunderstandings in social situations. Conversely, they may appear visibly upset or anxious without being fully aware of the underlying emotional cause. Strategies for Identifying Emotions * Body Awareness: Focusing on physical sensations can be a starting point for identifying emotions. For example, noticing a tightness in the chest may signal stress or anxiety, while a lightness in the body might indicate joy. By tuning into these signals, individuals can begin to make connections between what they feel physically and emotionally. * Emotional Charts or Apps: Visual aids, such as emotion charts or mood-tracking apps, can be helpful for identifying emotions. These break down emotions into basic categories, making it easier to recognize patterns and link feelings to specific experiences. * Routine Emotional Check-ins: Scheduling regular emotional check-ins throughout the day can help build emotional awareness. Asking questions like, “How do I feel right now?” and “What might have caused this feeling?” can develop a habit of reflection, helping us recognize emotions more readily over time. * Creative Expression: Art, music, or other creative outlets can be powerful ways to express emotions when words aren’t enough. Drawing how an emotion feels, playing a musical piece that reflects a mood, or even writing poetry can offer alternative avenues for emotional understanding and communication. * Seeking Support: Working with a therapist or counselor experienced in autism can also provide valuable insights. These professionals can guide us through recognizing our emotions and offering techniques and frameworks that are tailored to our specific needs and experiences. Being autistic doesn’t mean someone is emotionless or lacks empathy; rather, it means their emotional landscape might operate differently. By acknowledging these challenges and providing supportive tools and strategies, we can foster greater emotional self-awareness and communication for autistic people. With understanding, patience, and compassion, we can help create a space where identifying and expressing emotions feels safe and achievable.
Heather225 profile picture
Celebrating Neurodiversity: Autism Acceptance Month (2026)
by Heather225
Last post
August 31st
...See more April is Autism Acceptance Month, and we want to take a moment to celebrate the neurodiversity within our community, both as members and volunteers.  This is an open floor to share, learn, and connect. Answer either of these prompts: * If you are neurodivergent, what is a unique strength or perspective you feel it brings to your volunteering, be it as a listener or in a leadership role here on 7 Cups? * What is a misconception about autism or neurodiversity that you wish more people understood? Bonus: drop a resource, article, or creator that has helped you feel seen or learn more!
tommy profile picture
Autism Automated Taglist!
by tommy
Last post
June 4th
...See more Welcome to the Autism Taglist This thread is an auto-updating list. The list is regularly updated by forum leaders and can be found below. Having issues? Reply below and someone will help you! Why should I join the taglist? ✔ Never miss out on sub-community check-ins, discussions or events ✔ Get tagged and notified by community leaders whenever a new relevant thread has been posted ✔ Become a more active member of the community. What do I need to do? ✅ To add yourself to this taglist, press the Post to Thread button below and write the exact words Please add me. ❌ To remove yourself from this taglist, press the Post to Thread button below and write the exact words Please remove me. ------------------------- Current taglist as of 29 Dec (updated by tommy) @Alwayshungry983 @AutiBoy @azuladragon34 @beck1 @courteousCoconut2519 @Fozziewozzie @GwydionRowan @HarmonyBlossom @HatsEatYou @Howegeorgia @Jenna @JovianPlutonian @JustMeUwU @llemonz @LoveMyMoonflowers @NeurospicyGirl @NightOwl2003 @pineapple7722 @Plantsaremybestfriends @RainbowRosie @sentientape @silentbuster26 @SillyBlue32 @SleepyShyCat @smolLITTLEpotato @softParadise5949 @Stasia86 @StressedGirl @SunnyCat0 @teenytinyturtle @theboymoana @tommy @Trosclair03 @Twigo7 @unassumingPeach6421 @Vivikun9 @wishfulWillow6962 @Zahrian2112
memyselfandmoth profile picture
Forum Supporter Intro: MeMyselfAndMoth
by memyselfandmoth
Last post
June 6th
...See more Hi!  Making this post to officially introduce myself as a forum supporter, specifically here for the autistic community on cups! I am honored to do so. I am an artist, homebody, cat owner, and chronic pain-haver with AuDhd. I've been through a lot. Cups has been huge for me, for comfort, for connection, and for growth. I found it at the time I needed it most, and I genuinely hope that cups does the same for you all.  Please feel free to reach out to me with questions, issues and suggestions. Reply to this thread with any ideas you may have! I want this to feel like a supportive, fun, helpful, yet calming place. This should be a space where you feel supported and seen. Often, that can be difficult in our day to day, but it shouldn't have to be that way.  As I said, let's make this a thread for ideas, intros, questions, etc. I was thinking it would be lovely to do a picture-thread with everyone's art, special interest objects, et al.  Have a wonderful day. ❤️ Thank you for the opportunity to support.  - moth.  (⁠✿⁠ ⁠♡⁠‿⁠♡⁠)Ƹ̵̡⁠Ӝ̵̨̄⁠Ʒ/⁠ᐠ⁠。⁠ꞈ⁠。⁠ᐟ⁠\ 🦋 
tommy profile picture
Autism Automated Taglist!
by tommy
Last post
June 4th
...See more Welcome to the Autism Taglist This thread is an auto-updating list. The list is regularly updated by forum leaders and can be found below. Having issues? Reply below and someone will help you! Why should I join the taglist? ✔ Never miss out on sub-community check-ins, discussions or events ✔ Get tagged and notified by community leaders whenever a new relevant thread has been posted ✔ Become a more active member of the community. What do I need to do? ✅ To add yourself to this taglist, press the Post to Thread button below and write the exact words Please add me. ❌ To remove yourself from this taglist, press the Post to Thread button below and write the exact words Please remove me. ------------------------- Current taglist as of 29 Dec (updated by tommy) @Alwayshungry983 @AutiBoy @azuladragon34 @beck1 @courteousCoconut2519 @Fozziewozzie @GwydionRowan @HarmonyBlossom @HatsEatYou @Howegeorgia @Jenna @JovianPlutonian @JustMeUwU @llemonz @LoveMyMoonflowers @NeurospicyGirl @NightOwl2003 @pineapple7722 @Plantsaremybestfriends @RainbowRosie @sentientape @silentbuster26 @SillyBlue32 @SleepyShyCat @smolLITTLEpotato @softParadise5949 @Stasia86 @StressedGirl @SunnyCat0 @teenytinyturtle @theboymoana @tommy @Trosclair03 @Twigo7 @unassumingPeach6421 @Vivikun9 @wishfulWillow6962 @Zahrian2112
TheMadHatterWasHere profile picture
How to breach the subject?
by TheMadHatterWasHere
Last post
February 27th
...See more So I am pretty sure I have autism. A friend of mine thought so as well. I also realized that my panic attacks are not panic attacks, they are overstimulation. I meet with my psych team once a week. How do I breach this subject with them?
Summershy profile picture
We ended up leaving another autistic friend
by Summershy
Last post
July 14th, 2025
...See more Hi: During last Friday evening, some other friends and I got together for a party for the 4th.     We first went to one of their houses for dinner and a movie and before attempted to see a public fire work's display.   I should also mention that all of us live on the spectrum. Anyway, a few groups took separate cars and I was with one group.   Meanwhile, the guy hosting the party drove another friend.  When our group got there though, had hard time for the following reasons 1. It was crowded 2. The roads were blocked off 3. There were hardly any parking lots available Meanwhile, the friend hosting the party called us by speaker phone and was having a really hard time.  I can even argue that his behavior seemed to be related to being autistic.  Examples: 1. His mind was definitely moving pretty fast because he expected us to find a parking space and meet him in a jiffy 2. He seemed to have a hard time communicating the details on the street and the address 3. You could also tell that he lacked theory of mind because he automatically expected all of us to know where he ended up parking 4. He also did not seem to understand our situation and became increasingly frustrated with us. He kept telling all of us, "Can you guys please get over here?"   Therefore, we were over it while another friend wanted to go home and watch fireworks from his place.   So we ended up driving away with the other guy continuing to nag at us.   In doing so, my friend who was driving finally reached his breaking point and yelled at the guy.    Still, the guy hosting the party was pretty hurt. 
RainbowRosie profile picture
Mince pies…and Christmas Trees - Autism Support 🎄🎄🎄
by RainbowRosie
Last post
December 6th, 2024
...See more Hiya everyone.   Rosie here with a check in to see how you’re all doing? ❤️.            Also sending out a ‘hello and welcome’ to anyone who has recently joined the community. It’s lovely to have you all aboard. Please don’t hesitate to reach out with any questions or worries you have. We are here for you and can offer our support ❤️. With Christmas just around the corner, are you all on target?  Most importantly, don’t forget the mince pies!!! 🥧😀 My Christmas tree isn’t up yet, so that’s a job for tomorrow 🎄. I do think it’s probably my favourite part of Christmas, putting the tree up.  What’s your favourite part of Christmas? Feel free to drop a line or if not your thing, no problem just heart to say ‘hi’ ❤️ Wishing a Happy Christmas to everyone 🎄🎅🎄🎅 Take care,  Rosie 🌹
RainbowRosie profile picture
Happy Halloween 🎃🎃 Comfort items - Autism Support
by RainbowRosie
Last post
November 4th, 2024
...See more Hellooooo ….Rosie here checking in and wishing you a Happy Halloween 🎃👻👻👻🎃 How is everyone doing? Ok I hope 😀 Do you have any plans for celebrating Halloween? Party, film 🍿 👻 The street where I live they’re having a party to celebrate Halloween 🎃 so I’ll pop by to say hello before getting cosy to watch TV.  Talking about getting cosy and feeling comfortable…what makes you feel safe…do you have any comfort things/ items?  Please feel free to share…pop by to say hello…or give a 👍 I’d love to hear from you!  🌹
RainbowRosie profile picture
Hobbies…and Happy October - Autism Support 🌹
by RainbowRosie
Last post
October 30th, 2024
...See more Hi everyone Rosie here, just checking in to say hello to you all 👋  and offering a warm welcome to any newbies 🌹 It’s always around this time of the year I tend to pick up a new hobby. This time it’s macrame and I’m having fun making key rings for family and friends. YouTube is my teacher and there’s so many videos to choose from!  What hobbies do you have? 😀 Please feel free to share or if you’d rather not, no problem. If you fancy just popping by to say ‘hi’ please do, I’d love to meet you! ❤️❤️
RainbowRosie profile picture
Whoosh and Happy September - Autism Support 🌹
by RainbowRosie
Last post
September 9th, 2024
...See more Hi everyone, Where has the month gone…time seems to go so quickly and whoosh we’ve now stepped into September! How are you doing?  For me, work has been so very busy and taken up so much of my headspace. It’s only now it’s slowed down a little that I’ve been thinking about self care. I’m definitely prioritising my self care. I do enjoy a bit shopping so yesterday I had a lovely day out. Retail therapy certainly works for me! I feel great too.. What works for you?  Please do feel free to share. I’d love to hear from you. Alternatively if you don’t want to answer, not a problem, do drop by to say ‘hi’ 😀 I’d love to meet you ❤️ Thanks Rosie 🌹
Summershy profile picture
Friend feeling like I crossed the line
by Summershy
Last post
March 6th, 2024
...See more Hi: I live on the autism spectrum and I was told today that the way I handled a situation poorly.    First of all,  I have been carrying a grudge against a fake friend who I went to school with because she has never really treated me very well.   However, I had been in contact with another close friend of hers as we were getting along so well.   Though I had been thinking about reconnecting with the fake friend, I did some thinking and felt that she wasn't very nice to me.   Additionally, I had not spoken with this person for over 12 years since she jerked me around on social media and then blocked me.    In the meantime, I had been talking to her friend who has been getting false information from this person about why she doesn't talk to me.   When this close friend and I first talked, the other person wanted to work on forgiving me. Well, after some time, I had a chance to re-evaluate the relationship and felt like this person was a jerk to me as well as extremely manipulative.    So I wrote her a letter using "I feel," statements in mentioning why and what not.  Well, her close friend came back and attacked me for sending a nasty letter.   She also said that she didn't want to talk to me anymore because I said mean things.  However, this person didn't contact me herself.  When I went to talk about it with a friend, she told me that she said it was not a good idea to send a letter.   This was because this former fake friend and I had not been in contact recently.   She said that it would have been better for me to tell her close friend without overly explaining myself.   Moreover, she said that it seemed like I wrote that letter out of a lot of unchecked anger.   Honestly, I think that she is probably right because I have been mad at her for a while.   However, I am not going to beat myself up for calling out a bad friend for the way that she hurt me in the past. 
SparklingSeashells profile picture
Sensory Integration and Processing
by SparklingSeashells
Last post
November 13th, 2023
...See more Hiya everyone. I haven't seen much on the forum about sensory overload, and as it's something I've been learning about after my own assessnent, I thought I'd write a bit, share some knowledge and share some acknowledgement to those struggling. People primarily think of there being five senses, but there are now eight recognised ones. Visual, auditory, gustatory (taste), tactile, olfactory (smell), vesitublar (balance), proprioceptive (movement), and interoceptive (internal). The last three, you may not have heard much about. Vestibular is to do with the receptors in your ears. This sense in particular can really help to regulate, so you may see others, or you yourself may rock to regulate. My body knew it needed it even before my assessment so I did it occasionally before being encouraged to do it more. Proprioceptive can be really helpful to ground ourselves. Our coordination is linked to this sense. You may be really good at small, fiddly tasks, but find it harder to do gross motor activities, such as driving, where your whole body is needed, or vice versa. Interoception is a hard one, and still much more research is taking place. This is the sense that tells us if we are hungry, thirsty, too hot, even down to our emotions. So sometimes we may not recognise these sensations, mistake them for others, feel them in unusual parts of our body, or be overwhelmed by them. For people who struggle with sensory issues, each sense will either be modulation, discrimination, or both. Modulation is being overwhelmed by a sense, in simple terms, and discrimination is having a hard time perceiving it. It might be that we don't recognise it, or don't know whether it is important or not for our brain to process. Having both modulation and discrimination for a sense is very hard, as many won't recognise the 0-99 but be so overwhelmed at the 100, so it is harder to work on it before reaching a meltdown point. So what can you do to help yourself? This will very much be personal to you, for it is determined by each sense, and what you need more of, or are overwhelmed by. Sometimes, we can aid ourselves by using senses together, for example using both touch and vision to find something in a bag. As I listed above, some senses are particularly helpful for regulating, and stimming strategies will help, whatever they look like to you. They can help both in the moment, and if you know something is coming up, you can use these strategies before. Some people use them everyday, at a regular interval. Sometimes it will be very natural and your body will help you know what to do. Things like music are helpful. Outsider's may question, how it can help if you get auditory overload, but you are in control of it. It may not be effective for some people. To all the people struggling, you are not alone. It's okay to let your mask down. Its okay to need different things to others. Please don't best yourself up for it. Its a lot of info but thought someone might benefit from it. Happy to answer any questions to the best of my ability 💜
RainbowTrie profile picture
Has Autism vs Autistic: A Quick Comparison of Person-First and Identity-First Languages
by RainbowTrie
Last post
February 4th, 2021
...See more Has Autism vs Autistic: A Quick Comparison of Person-First and Identity-First Languages By: RainbowTrie When referring to someone on the autism spectrum, there are generally two options. You could refer to them as: A. A person WITH AUTISM (or a person who HAS AUTISM) or B. An AUTISTIC person Option A is an example of Person-First language. The idea is to address the person first and the disability second in an effort to be more humanizing and avoid degrading slurs. It is often used by medical professionals, habilitation therapists, and some parents. Option B is an example of Identity-First language. It is gaining popularity within autistic communities and is supported due to the encompassing nature of autism. Many individuals embrace autism as a major part of their identity and dont consider their personhood to be separated from it. Neither option is entirely correct or incorrect. Rather, both come with their own set of pros and cons. Always respect the choice of the autistic individual should they make it known. If the individual is a child, respect the choice of their parent. If youre worried about making a mistake, the best thing to do is just ask. Theyll be glad you did – as it shows that youre knowledgeable, aware, and considerate of their disability. Some people have a strong preference for either Person-First or Identity-First language and some dont care either way. The most important thing is that we respect the right of autistic individuals to be addressed in a way that they find accepting and compassionate. More Resources: 1. I [https://autisticadvocacy.org/home/about%C2%A0asan/identity%C2%A0first%C2%A0language/]dentity First Language Overview 2. Using the Word Autistic VS Saying Someone Has Autism [https://lovinadoptin.com/2015/01/27/its-in-a-word-autistic-vs-has-autism/] 3. Examples of using Person-First and Identity-First Language [https://www.inclusionproject.org/nip_userfiles/file/People%20First%20Chart.pdf]
Xenologer profile picture
Why Allistic Parents/Guardians Need Autistic Friends
by Xenologer
Last post
February 24th, 2018
...See more https://timetolisten.blogspot.com/2014/05/you-yes-you-need-autistic-friends.html So your child was just diagnosed with autism. Breathe. Breathe deeper. Relax. It'll all be ok. But you have some work to do. The first thing you need to do isn't find therapists. It isn't commiserate with other parents. It isn't become an AAC expert (though all of these things have their place!). It's something not in the autism introduction packet: you need to connect on a human level with adults like your child. You need to go make some Autistic friends. I don't mean a mentoring relationship, though those are extremely important and I am a big fan of mentoring (and mentoring your child & being friends with you are not mutually exclusive). I definitely don't mean "translate my child to me" (which is not a friend thing particularly). I mean find local Autistic adults with whom you have common interests and connect as equal human adult people. There are a whole lot of reasons this is the best thing you can do for your child: The link has a lot of reasons why this would be extremely helpful. It seems like we have at least as many allistic people in this forum looking to understand us as we do autistic people looking for support from one another, and those can be very different needs. They can still be compatible needs when allistic people are willing to relate to us as peers, though, and that's always easier to do when we're socially present as something other than improvement projects or half-people who need to be completed before we are relatable. Adult autistics are like your kids. The better roots you have in the community, the more support both you and your kid will have.

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