How many of you have friends or support?
I've always struggled with making friends my entire life.
I just seem unable to participate in social settings, and I get left out despite trying.
It seems like an impossible task to try and make friends when you have autism and social anxiety.
I wasn't socialized growing up and it's definitely left me stunted, it's an extra large hurdle in the way.
@CamouflagedHermit
It is so hard to learn relationship skills, if we weren't taught them while young. But it is possible, and I encourage you to think out of the box. Maybe group situations are too much for you for now, and 121 situations would be better for practice? Or maybe try practicing with a different age range. Children and the elderly can be more forgiving and are just as deserving of our friendship. Relationship skills are totally transferable- once learnt in one context, it becomes much easier in the next. You are worth the investment.
You are definitely right about 1to1 being better to start with, but it's not really a thing for me outside of support workers. Even then you don't always get someone wanting to help like that.
Circumstances can be very unfortunate and frustrating.
@CamouflagedHermit
Thats good that you have some idea of what's do-able vs what's challenging for you. This gives you a great starting point to build on.
Regarding your thoughts on 121 opportunities, Is there a way to turn this around at all? Must the other person in a 121 relationship be helping you? Maybe you could be helping them? There are plenty of people out there, desperate for a friend. Is there any situation where you could see yourself giving your time to listen to someone who is lonely, while practicing your social skills at the same time?
Trust me I'd be up for that if it came along, I'm in the same position so it would be perfect to meet another person that is lonely. It's sadly just a complete lack of opportunity, maybe that will change at some point as you never know what life has in store for you.
I can absolutely understand that. And it is so sad because we need friends so much. And it sounds like you tried a lot.
Do you know how you are perceived by others?
Shy and withdrawn. I probably come off as really not wanting to be interacted with, but it's far from the real truth.
People that get to know me say I am very self aware and intelligent, well spoken.
How do you come off to others? Do you have friends?
I don’t and now my mom is dying. One of the few people who understands me.
That's very devastating. Do you have other people for support?
I don’t want support. I just want out.
I want out too. But is seems the more we want something, the further this reality puts it from us. So may as well try and pass the time with something, I'm making miniature houses for my garden.
I have some genuine friends by God's grace, but it's kinda hard to maintain consistent connection when I'm mostly low energy, easily anxious and overthink. Fortunately, my friends aren't the type that drift away with reduced communication
