Idk what to title this but help tw: sh

I have a class in school, Spanish 2. Last year in Spanish 1, my teacher was retiring and I had her during the last semester of the school year. She thought she could just chill and not teach us. So, this year in Spanish 2, I don't know anything. That makes me fed up with myself and angry as well. My teacher this year has a voice and I know what people are going to say "That's rude" or "You can't say that" or idk, but I really cannot stand her voice. I hate it so much. She says certain words and it bothers my noice issues. She loves to whine to us. Like with such a whiney voice she sounds like a toddler. She also doesn't let us use the bathroom if shes doing notes, EVEN IF THEY'RE ALL WRITTEN ON THE BOARD AND REALLY SHORT, can't use it after you finish your work, really, you can't go to the bathroom in her class unless you're bleeding or dying. My autism gets so bad in this class, and makes it even more difficult than public places and school is for me. She and her class makes me want to self harm. I'm almost 5 months clean and that's the longest I've ever been. I've made promises to myself, my boyfriend, and my mom. I also know that if I cut now, I won't be able to stop again and I'll keep going and going and going and going and I'll hurt other people and ruin trust and even though my boyfriend says its ok as long as I own up to it, I don't want to hurt him. I really ****ing hate this god dam* class so much.