I don’t know what to do as an autistic adult

Hi everyone,

I’ve always struggled with loneliness. It seems like 80-90% of adulting is learning to be independent, but I feel like I’m hyper-independent yet overly dependent at the same time.

I never had the friendships I craved growing up because of family issues and me being afraid of rejection because I was overwhelmed by everything. I also feel a gap between my parents and I. I wish they asked me about my hopes, dreams, what was bothering me, my struggles, etc. but they don’t.

I do have friends but I don’t meet them often (maybe once every 3 months at best, or even longer). I feel like some of the friendships I have, I am staying out of loyalty and nostalgia, but maybe we don’t have the same values anymore.

I know I have a lot of issues to work through and I don’t want to burden somebody else with what I can try to improve on myself, but it’s so lonely.