I'm ashamed

I have a test coming up to see if I have Asperger's and I was told that it was on the autism spectrum I'm ashamed because if I find out I have it I think I might cry I think I might yell then I think I might not talk to anybody for a while I've been so worried about it and I have been so ashamed because I'm so nice to be able to have autism my cousin has autism and I've been so sweet to people that have autism and I'm ashamed that I might cry if I find out I have Asperger's.