Bipolar Disorder Daily Community Check-Ins: Share your Thoughts
Good Day!
Please use this space as much or as little as you like to report daily thoughts, feelings, and circumstances surrounding Bipolar Disorder in all its glorious variance.
Who, what, where, when, why?
Take care!
respond respond respond!
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I suppose I'll go first.
This week I am struggling with depression. I am finding it difficult to get motivated to accomplish the things I need to each day. I would just like to eat and sleep. I am also feeling lonely.
How is everyne else?
I suppose I am stuck on the same train as you, @blitheSun. Today was a day in which, at 6pm, I am still in my pajamas and in bed. My major accomplishments have been brushing my teeth and my hair, checking email and Cups for needed responses, and putting some dishes away. No kidding-- that took all my energy today. This time of year, when there is only rare sun in the sky, really suck me into a black pool with no air.
Fighting really hard against it this year. But, even fighting, there are some days I don't win. So I fight to believe that's okay too.
@ladylazarus1971
It sounds like you do a great job granting yourself compassion, good for you! I completely understand those zero energy days, had one today myself. Like you, I fight back by getting up and doing something with the people I love even though my head is shrinking due to all of the terrible lies. Being outside and being around my son helps sometimes. When you're a mom you don't get to sleep all day, although I remember a number of days when my mother did.
Admire your strength.
Day 4 trying the generic version of my antipsychotic ($65 savings), day 18 with an SNRI added. Day 10 feeling 'normal' again.
Hopefully this is leveling out now with this combination, and not the start an upward trend. Been accepted by one of the psychiatrists here in town, so I'm waiting to hear from them. See my GP again in 6 weeks if nothing comes up in the mean-time.
Better living through pharmacology eh?
@Phoenix84
As someone who was definitely anti-medication in the beginning I have grown to understand how beneficial and life changing these medications can be despite the difficulty of trial and error. The biggest downside for me is that you become dependent on them. This scares me and pinches my pocketbook. I can completely relate to your sharing, and am concerned about what these meds might do long-term since many of them are so new and we simply don't have the research yet. I hope that you find relief soon. I am so glad to hear you have found a psychiatrist. I hope you mesh well. :)
@blitheSun94
same here. Was diagnosed with Hypomani. Shorter episodes of Mania and depression but extereme irritation has drained all my energy. Medication has helped me alot to be able to focus on my daily rutines which is needed for everone I guess. 🤞🏽
@Phoenix84 I know how you feel, I have stopped being able to afford medication and therapy...after I stopped taking medication I was so sick and depressed. I just couldn't handle it, so I have been laying in bed for 3 days...I don't know what to do...I could really use some advise.
@acidicturtle104
Thankfully I'm more than able to afford my meds. I spend a good chunk every month on vitamins and supplements, have since I quit drinking and started taking care of myself... that's the side that suffers if my budget needs wiggle room. I notice a difference in my physical health (aches, pains, and general feeling of sick) when those get missed. I also try to budget in for a massage every month or so.
There are a number of alternative medicine choices that will help control things mentally, for FAR cheaper than prescription. Of course not every one plays nice with all prescriptions so you may want to work with someone if you don't want to do a lot of research yourself. My GP thankfully believes in a number of them. He told me years ago I needed to work on "Vitamin B, D, and Z" (both Zinc and ZZZ's).
@acidicturtle104
use the Relax Melodies app. It's free and it's got some nice sounds of water, beach, blue whales and rain on the roof which is my fave.
Try to breath while listening to them.
The least you can do. It's easy with no cost
Lately it almost feels like I don't really have emotions. I feel like I'm watching my own life go by like in a movie. I might feel sad, but I won't really care because it feels like a detached kind of sad. It feels like my mood stabilizers are working, but they took away my ability to feel emotions as well.
@lightTortoise1929 That's a common and really terrible side effect of psychiatric medications. I'm sorry you are feeling so disconnected. I hope something changes to make you feel better.
@lightTortoise1929
I completely understand this! I was over-medicated this year and decided to come off one due to this very sensation. Everyone at work thought I was mad when in reality I was neutral. Didn't care if I won the lottery or my house burned down. Didn't work for me. Always advocate for yourself and share this information with your psych. I hope you start feeling real again soon.
@blitheSun94 thanks for your support. Unfortunately I'm at a point whet everyone but me just wants me to be stable and doesn't care if I feel like a person or not. I hope that in the future I can find a level of medication that I like.
@blitheSun94 thanks for your support. Unfortunately I'm at a point whet everyone but me just wants me to be stable and doesn't care if I feel like a person or not. I hope that in the future I can find a level of medication that I like.
@lightTortoise1929
My heart goes out to you. I currently tale two medications. I was on three briefl, but it too much. So I go without and even though I am not symptom free, I still maintain my personality which is important to me. Never be afraid to communicate this to your doctors or advocate for yourself. ☺
Everyone, take care of yourselves over the next few days. Self care becomes even more important when holiday stressors hit us hard. Don't forget to breathe deeply when things get too much. And carve out some alone time if you need it. Or, if you're alone and struggling for the holidays, reach out here on Cups. I imagine plenty of us will check in for support over the next few days, whether in the helpful chatrooms, with caring Listeners, or even from a small remove here in the Forum.
If you need to speak with someone because you feel in crisis, the US national hotline is 1-800-273-TALK. There is also a textline if you prefer, generally better for slightly less emergent but pressing issues. No one will pressure you here to do or talk about things you would not like to, and you can drop the conversation at any time by letting the person on the other end know that. The text number is 741 741.
You are not alone!
@ladylazarus1971
Thank you so much for the supportive post, kudos! I couldn't agree more with your words as a sensitive individual who easily becomes over stimulated. ♡
So I've had alot of big changes in my life this year! After moving from east coast USA to the mid west, I became lax on taking my meds and have been unmedicated for probably 5 months now. I feel myself slipping in and out of depressive or manic moods daily and my general moods are all over the place. I have insurance but don't have money to afford establishing myself with a new psych dr. I have a few months worth of meds sitting and I contemplate starting them up again. I know I'm more stable on my meds but I keep talking myself out of taking them...ugh...the struggle is real guys!
@TheGreenerGrass
I can see why, especially if you don't have insurance for on-going care. These medications are heavy and come with a whole host of side effects even when relief is achieved. Maybe a support group would help.
I've been struggling through a three year episode of Depression, with many different med changes. I'm having a consultation for ECT late this coming week, though I have a lot of reservations about it... worst of which is probably the thought of what if it doesn't work.
@2356997 I wish you the best of luck in making the ECT decision. I know it's a scary prospect, and that there is a lot of contradicting information about it out there. Just keep whatever is best for YOU in mind, I'm sure I'm not telling you anything you don't already know.
Bottom line-- I just want you to know we are here for you.
@ladylazarus1971 Thanks!
Awesome job supporting one another. Keep it up. <3