Bipolar Partner, In love but losing hope

Hi everyone! New here and hope this is the correct place for this. I am feeling very lost and would love to hear some of your thoughts/support.

I have dated a man for almost a year now with bipolar disorder, PTSD, and likely other untreated disorders. We've had an extremely loving relationship from day 1. I knew about his mental health before ever getting involved with him and have done everything in my power to be the best support system. I have been there for him through a lot. Every anxiety attack, endless hours being an ear to him whenever/wherever needed, through all of our ups and downs and probably 10+ “breakups” I have remained by his side and never walked away. Despite being so tired of it all, I truly love him and the thought of being another person in his life to give up breaks my heart.

We lived together for 6 months. He took care of me and my daughter, Made his house a home for us. It was his first long term relationship and first time living with a woman. He is Literally a perfect boyfriend when he is in a positive mental state. We had a fiarytale like relationship. he is Loving, funny, understanding, cooks, cleans, wonderful to my daughter, etc.

Amongst his mental health, hes a very heavy drinker. He would slow down when my daughter was around but would binge drink for most of every week.he’s drank like this for years. A functioning alcoholic for the most part. But seemingly every couple of months, he would have a drunk episode that would result in him unleashing his anger, verbally abusive, made delusional statements/accusations, and sometimes even broke up with me. I would always deal with it calmly and be agreeable. The next day, almost everytime, he would rarely recall what happened and beg for forgiveness and reassure me he doesn’t mean any of it.

I got used to this cycle of things after awhile. Exhausting but my love for him and how genuinely happy we were when things were good always outweighed the rest. A few times, he would go on a bender and actually made me move out of his home for up to a week until he sobered up and then would beg for me back. Me going back I know, sounds so lame. But I just always excused i because I know he has genuine and seemingly uncontrollable issues. He was abused as a child, poor past relationships, in the military, head injury which has left him retired, alot.

We had the biggest fight of all and brokeup on new years day. He got violent for the very first time on a vacation. Blocked me on everything and left me in another state in the middle of the night.

Days later, reached out crying like ive never heard before and said hes suicidal and cant lose me and im the best thing to ever happen to him and begging for another chance and said he’s never felt so bad and that he “cursed” the rest of his life with his actions. He then FINALLY made the initiative to start therapy and start medication and slow down drinking. Therapy went well he seemed at peace and was being so kind and optimistic about him and I working through this. He slowed down drinking. He began meds. 2 weeks later, started to drink again, careless with therapy sessions, skipping AA, and became almost so distant to me overnight. Never seen this side of him, and I have seen ALOT. 1 day he was crying about how scared he is of losing me, wants to have a child with me, will “never mess this up” again, wants to marry me etc. and literally the next day told me he’s realized he’s happy alone and wants to mess around and be single and to get my things from his house ASAP as he’s done with me for good.. Left no room for any questions or response from me. Ghosted me. Seemed set in stone on this. I was in utter shock at the change of heart and so hurt and confused where it came from even.

Recent weeks, he calls me at night confessing his feelings (of love) and saying he doesn’t want to lose me but everything in him tells him to push me away and that I’m bad for him.. despite me being literally the only person here for him. He doesnt have close friends and has no relationship with his family, unfortunately. I was all he had. I’m shocked to hear him say I’m bad for him when all I have done is try to help him and put aside all of my own responsibilities to myself to help him. The last few weeks he has said he isn’t broken up with me but we’re on a break.. then he was done with me and blocked me.. then he would unblock and say he loves me and wants to be with me and would come visit me and be loving like nothing ever happened... then distant and angry and “single” again.. then says he wants to get me pregnant? Booked Valentine’s Day plans for us this weekend. He came to my house, I was making dinner. While cooking, He suddenly put his shoes on and said he was going home and that it’s the last time I’m seeing him.. (1 hour after giving me a really sweet and thoughtful unexpected gift he got for me that day and saying how excited he is to have a weekend away with me and that he misses me so much.

From my research, the last few weeks he seems to be manic.. sorry if TMI but he’s been Having extreme hypersexuality (borderline in a rage over such, never seen that side of him.. nonstop and seems unsatisfied no matter what and his entire focus is on sex) , excessive spending, all of a sudden took on church (good, but out of the blue), and keeps making comments about other females. (I was cheated on in my last relationship and he has never spoke of another woman since the moment we met until now. It was a big reason of why I trusted and love him so much). His moods are so up and down and confusing.

Currently: blocked on all things and the last text I got says “I can’t be with someone like you. I’m sorry” and that was it.