Body freedom (TRIGGER WARNING)

I have always been interested in public nudity. I would love to visit a nude beach and visit a nudist resort. I feel like there would be something freeing about being with other people who see you with no pretense and nothing to hide. I think often about walking in the nude, with the warm sun on my skin, enjoying creation, and just being free.

I had a very religious and strict upbringing and my birth family would even hide our bodies from each other. I remember my mom even having cutsie names for genitals and would never say penis or vagina. I never saw my dad naked even though we are the same gender. I know there are issues in families where there is incest or rape or some horrible expression of abuse but I never feared that in my birth family. I wish nudity was normalized without the threat of sexualizing our bodies.

My wife and I have had sex in our backyard, and she loves cooling down at night by walking after dark semi-nude. I love this!

Last night I looked up public nudity on the internet. I was looking for something innocuous like how to do it descretely but with freedom. I found a video of a woman walking through a city in spain completely nude. She was young and very beautiful. She walked slowly and intentionally with lots of poise and confidence. It was amazing. It was not staged. She did not interact with anyone, though some people in the video looked at her but most people just ignored her, lost in their own world. It was a lovely expression of freedom.

I did masturbate to the video even though I consider the video as art. Masturbation always helps me sleep better and watching the woman was very lovely and arousing.

I am dealing with the religeous shame this morning of watching and masturbating. I want to get to the point where I do not have shame, but can enjoy a lovely expression of freedom and honor my own needs by masturbating with my own pleasure.

I hate porn for porn sake. I hate the abuse side of porn. I hate the commercial industry of human trafficking that I know is fed by porn. I hate gratuitous sex just for shock value. I hate the rough, unpassionate expressions of porn and the look of fear and hate and lothing that I see in the eyes of the people in commercial porn.

I love nature, naturism, body positivity, sex, passion, tenderness, and freedom to use my body how I please.