I'm starting to get it now

I'm starting to see how my disorder is really affecting my moods. Like right now at this moment I feel frustrated and stressed out but I've been sleeping in for the past three days. Aside from what has been the problem for over three months not much has changed. So why do I feel like this. All of this is going on in my head. I use to think it was the people around me that was causing my moods to change. That they knew me so well that they knew what words to say and how to say just to sabotage my mood. God I really believed my mother and ex husband were narassitic to the point that they were making my life miserable. But since I've been home my mother hasn't been the best at emotional support but I have a warm place to sleep and food to eat. I wonder if it was my fault the divorce and everything. But it's over now and I keep having these thoughts as if I can just walk back into marriage and fix things. I'm confused and tired all the time. I have this migraine at the front of my head. I feel bad for all the people I treated badly just because of my mood. That it's possible that it wasn't them, that it was me. The list can go on and on. But the people who love me are still here. My mother, sisters and bother. Their love is still here for me but this time I realized that everyone has their limitations.