Loosing it big time

So, I’m sorry if this is like the 4th post I’ve made on these forums. I’ve been posting a lot here because honestly I just don’t have anywhere else to go with my thoughts right now. The last time I tried to talk to my best friend about what I should do about my job and my mental health she said “Right now your just worrying about everything and whining. Either try the disability or the teaching, your not going to solve anything by just sitting” But fuck me I’m so ungodly depressed right now and I dread litterally every second I think about work or doing pretty much anything. I’m having suicidal ideation, complete lack of concentration and motivation, and just crying all the fucking time. I’m looking everywhere for some kind of help but I feel like nothing is making it easier and I’m not severe enough for inpatient or other immediate care because I’m not like ACTIVELY suicidal. I feel like everything is made worse by the constant stress from this new job I got. I’m teaching Spanish part time and I’m honestly not qualified to teach it even though I speak it. Hell I might have even quit by now but I’ve already met the kids and if I leave they won’t have a Spanish teacher and the other two teachers who were teaching part time will have to take over again. But I also don’t know what the fuck to do because it’s driving me deeper and deeper into this pit of depression. I usually love teaching and I love my other teaching job as a painting teacher, but this job is making me loose it.