Stuck in my thoughts

Hello

I am sure that I have a mental condition (hoping it is only one problem although I feel having more than one) and I think I am bipolar. My family believes that disorders or being not well is only related to physiological disorders and they do not care at all about mental health illnesses. More than once I do show beneath my words that I need help regarding my mental health but they either turn it into sarcasm, claim I am being dramatic, or even ignore me. The last time I had a mental outburst (or I don’t know what is it called but I was not as usual), I got yelled at and it turned to a REALLY big problem and I got blamed and abandoned for several days when I was in desperate need for help. This was more than a year ago because I decided from that incident that I will have to keep my breakdowns for myself even if this will destroy me more and it actually made my mental health literally worst. I thought having mental breakdowns secretly and containing myself will be much easier than being abandoned or treated as a stranger in the house and my mom completely ignores me (although she is the ONLY literally only person I love and cannot trust anyone except her and she knows how much I am attached to her even more than the rest of the family). But everything is getting complicated more and more as I cannot handle this. To maintain peace within the house, I have to suffer my breakdowns in school and this makes me really weird. I lost my friends as they left me for having multiple depression periods of time over the whole year but I do not blame them. Also I lost my ability to study and concentrate as before although thanks god I still maintain my academic level. The problem is that I really need to visit a psychiatrist or any specialist to diagnose me or help me out with what is going on with me, but I cannot tell my family about this as I am sure they will ignore it or will make fun of me and I cannot handle this type of reaction right now.

ps: I suffer depression and eating disorder for continuous 8 months but I hide it all in front of my parents but I am currently unable to continue acting hilarious for more than that. They are even happy that I am being too happy, cheerful, and always sarcastic and think this indicates that I am currently living my best mental state.