newly diagnosed and on meds
this past weekend, i was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, specifically bipolar depression, and i’m taking seroquel. i started the meds two days ago and already notice changes. i know that it’s supposed to improve my mood and stuff, but it makes me feel concerned about certain things.
for example, i feel like i don’t think that much anymore. my mind used to race all the time and i’d easily get overwhelmed but it just feels like there’s nothing going on in my mind. which scares me since i’m not used to being “calm” i guess. and i used to not dream when i slept, but now i have dreams and i can’t differentiate whether they’re real or not because they feel real when i wake up, if that makes sense.
i also feel more fidgety and anxious during the day. like i have to do multiple tasks at once and when i’m doing one thing, i immediately start doing something else too. i’ll go from periods of doing multiple things at once, to just sitting there and not wanting to do anything.
i don’t know, i’m just concerned about my experiences and want to see if anyone else has had these symptoms when starting medication. people i’ve reached out to told me i’ll “get used to it” but it’s still concerning to me. i’m also going into this mindset where the only reason i’m “okay” is because i’m on meds. i just don’t like that thought process since it makes me feel not normal i guess.
I totally understand your views on meds. It took my psychiatrist 2 years to convince me to get on Zoloft. I think I was disappointed that I couldn't get better on my own, but if we had a heart condition, we wouldn't hesitate to take the meds, right? It's harder with mental health cuz they can't really measure our neural connections and synapses.
What the doctor said that convinced me was, "if a truck only travels on the same dirt road over and over, faster and faster, there will be a rut in the path, and u need someone else to help get it out. Our brain receptors are the same way- we've thought the same way or had the same anxiety/depression/fill-in- the-blank for so long, that we can't use that pathway anymore. Often times, our receptors close up shop, and the meds just help open them back up.
I do notice a difference with meds, like things are possible. I wish I had started them sooner. I've had decades of damage, most of my roads blocked. 😜
this honestly makes so much sense. your doctor knows what they’re talking about haha :3
i used to be on zoloft when i was younger but my parents took me off since they said i “didn’t need it.” and now eight years later i’m on meds and i feel just like you said: like things are possible. it’s just taking me time to get used to being back on meds and stuff. i’ll be okay. :)