Feeling guilty about being happy sometimes
I'm a bad person. I know that in my heart even if I try to do better. This isn't me beating myself up, this is me acknowledging the wrong parts of my own self.
That being said, sometimes whenever I feel happy, I suddenly have this "realization" that I shouldn't be feeling this way. Considering I've hurt so many people in the past with my actions, I just feel like I don't deserve to be a person.
Sure, I do deserve it. Everyone deserves to act human. But at the same time, I just can't help but feel so guilty feeling this way when my victims have been left hurting before. I've moved on and I'm on the road of doing better, but at the same time...I struggle to be happy even if I want to be.
I just don't feel like I deserve it.
@TherapyStellaGirl
How dare you, perishing like a dog. Laying down and letting history define your future. Idc how manny times you've had to pull yourself up by your bootstraps, don't care if you've ripped em straps clean off; pick ya Phat @ss up and try try try again.
There is no meer feble hope for you, you are not to operate on hopes and prayers: You are expected to succeed because you can and you must.
Make amends and drop your balls, do what you can & do not dwell on what is beyond your control. Take the bull by the horns and do better because you absolutely can and should and if you know what's good YOU WILL!
Pick your head up sinner, you are not forsaken! Redemption is within reach.
That may be brutal but I suppose that makes sense
I can't really expect anyone to get better than myself and my own self
Even if this is worded strangely I'll admit, but honestly? I think you're right
There's nobody else who can make me better, than my own self
So thanks for that
@TherapyStellaGirl
OMG I'm so So SO sorry 😱! I was on an experimental bender comprised of 1/2 a bottle of 110 proof carabian rum and mushroom 🍄 gimmies from a seneca gas station, WTF is wrong with me!?!
I'm glad you got the core message though. You and you alone are the one who chooses to be better. If they don't forgive you even when you've done everything you could, let them grieve and move on.
I would have been way Way WAY more kind in my wording had I been sober. Next time I get absolutely volcanforced I'll put my phone 📱 in my timer lockbox for at least 8 hours after ingesting substances..... (image of timer lock box to prove im telling truth)
I promise. 🙏🥹 Take care of yourself.
@TherapyStellaGirl
Also I'm sorry for the other reply I made, I have Schizoaffective Bipolar and I have a tendency to overreact explosively when overestimated. The power went out for 7.5 hours yesterday and I was the only one home (only dad and I know how) who knew how to hook up the whole home generator. Needless to say I was extremely exacerbated. I logged on here not prepared for the emotional flashbang I left for myself and overreacted AF. I'm genuinely sorry for the stress and hurt iv caused you.
@TherapyStellaGirl
🙂 You're a very cool person, at least from what I can tell. Which admittedly isn't much but still I think your neat.
: )
You are an extremely mature and well mannered person, you also seem quite wise and knowledgeable. I envy your emotional regularly and ability to keep a level head under pressure.
I have a good feeling life's gonna turn out Allright for you : )
I never realized you were drunk/high, I just thought you were quirky (no offense)
But yeah thanks for being transparent on what you meant since even when you're not sober you still seem like a good person to me so I applaud that
Needless to say, thanks for what you said
@TherapyStellaGirl
Thank you. :)
Also heres a pro tip for writing ✍️ a opening statement (for almost any topic/confrontation) to an audience that has No context:
There should be no less than 5 obvious trajectories the responder can think/feel about your statement (OP) in 3 consecutive seconds. Yours here only had 2, option 1 is to take a face value (agree with your self-deprecating) and condemn you; or option 2 is to defend your innocents completely invalidating your remorse. See how that can be frustrating and counterproductive to all involved parties? Yep, by gridlocking the amount of logical replies to either attacking you or defending you - you wind up with a comment section war.
You don't have to provide context, only sprinkle in open ended questions every 4 - 7 sentences or 2 - 4 paragraphs. This complicates the OP and forces the human brain 🧠 to do more Thinkie and less Feelie - Catch my drift?
Open ended questions slow down human cognition speed, the slower a humans cognition speed the less extreme their emotions swing.
