Frustrated with myself
I am worried my church friends are angry with me. I know they cannot be, but I feel like they are. I am feeling bad and I am frustrated with myself because I do this over and over again.
@Botoga
Why would they be mad at you?
*hugs*
@jesusredeemedme2425 I feel like a burden to them because I don't have a car and I cannot afford to eat at restaurants with them. I just want to go home after church but they buy my lunch all the time and it makes me feel guilty. Today my normal ride to church says she is not going this Sunday. I am trying to reach another person for a ride Sunday, but he hasn't called me back yet. My paranoia became active I guess. I have known these people for over 30 years. They can't possibly be mad but I put myself through this all the time anyway. I need to just be grateful I guess. Because they are good to me.
Could you ask them if you are a burden, or directly ask them to tell you if they feel put out by you? Do you ever make something for them to thank them for helping you get to church?
It sounds like you have been overthinking, I am totally guilty of this too. Glad they called you back and you feel a little better. It sounds like you have a great group of friends.
@reservedOwl321 - I have asked them and they say no burden. I used to volunteer at church several days a week for for 17 years but had to stop. Now I don't feel like I am doing as much for them as they do for me. I try to help when I can but there is not much I can do these days. They are really good friends. I am lucky but also fearful they will think I am too much of a burden and then stop talking to me. I think I have fear of abandonment because I get paranoid about these kinds of things quite a bit. UPDATE - My other church friend called me back and he says he will take me to church Sunday. I need to have some faith I guess. I fell into the doubt trap again lol.
@reservedOwl321 - I am still learning this website, so please bear with me lol. In the past I have had what I thought were good friends who ghosted me but that was 30 years ago. But those people back then never even gave me any warnings. My church friends today tell me they will let me know if they get angry. But I guess I need to just work on trusting them more.
@Botoga
I am still learning the site too as I am relatively new, so I understand. It is a huge site. I know how you feel that you don't want to be a burden on others. I'm glad they contacted you back.
Oh this is so me… I’ve relied on church friends for rides and meals (occasional meals) for years. Totally feel the same way. <3
@jesusredeemedme2425 They just called me back. I overreacted (again).
@Botoga
They love you <3
