Getting it off my chest

I dont really know how to start this to be honest. Im just feeling a bit lost. I have been struggling with paranoia and auditory hallucinations for..awhile now. It can be rough sometimes to say the least. My partner will act a little off and I question if he's the same person or if he's even with me because he loves me or if its some conspiracy from my controlling mother to keep an eye on me. Sometimes I look in the mirror and dont recognize myself, I look like me, I swear that its how Ive always looked but my brain won't stop telling me something is off about it and that its a stranger in front of me. Its not even just the people around me but a car who follows me for a little to long or I pass the same person over and over at the grocery store I start freaking out that theyre following me.

The worst of it is last year my exhusband began raping me, I was lucky enough to have the strength to leave largely due to my current partner being there as a support system (which only feeds the delusion that he's here under alternative motives because he came into my life when I needed him most) but because of this now im constantly paranoid that my ex will find where I live or work and will come to hurt me again.

Its not just the paranoia though its the hallucinations. I hear people talking to me calling for me or saying things. Sometimes its someone I know and its my boyfriend saying things but his mouth never moves or he's not home all together, sometimes I'll hear my mother coughing or calling me to help her with something mean while shes multiple states away. It can be strangers too though. A girl I've never heard before whispering my name, or a door shutting that was never open to begin with. Scratching across the walls, this random clicking noise. I know this is a lot of information and I dont even know why im saying it all. Im not necessarily looking for advice i just feel like I need to put it somewhere, that if it stays in my mind any longer I'll explode. The hallucinations started again a few days ago and theyre not consistent. Few times a day at most but it puts me on edge and I worry if I talk to my partner about it he'll call me crazy. I didn't know what else to do so I guess im here now.

Thanks for reading, and sorry for the long rant. I feel a bit better but I still have that lost feeling. I dont know where to go from here.