Losing Friends and Family
Hello,
First off, I’m new here. So hello! Also, This is my 1st thread. So sorry if I don’t make sense. I have so much to say and so many questions.
A little about me, I’m a 30 year old woman struggling with Bipolar II Disorder. ADHD. And Anxiety. I was diagnosed about 4 years ago.
I’ve been struggling lately it seems, keeping people in my life. My mom has disowned me. My best friend, unfriended me. And recently, my aunt is having issues with me. My husband says I have done nothing wrong but I feel like my disorder is the problem but then I also wonder if it has nothing to do with me? I’m a really good person. Always putting others above myself. I always put myself last. I’m a great listener. But now I feel so alone. I literally have no friends! My dad is the only other person I know who also has Bipolar Disorder. And I’m just wondering if anyone else struggles keeping relationships? Does anyone else struggle to not feel so alone all the time? I feel like it just makes my depression worse.
@SmashMouth53 Hello Smash, and welcome to the forums. It sounds as though everything is challenging for you, between bipolar II, ADHD and anxiety - those are a lot to navigate; then factoring in the loss of friendships. It's very easy to blame ourselves when friendships go wrong, and the more we do this and see ourselves as solely responsible, the harder it becomes to start afresh and seek out new friends. I would add here that we have depression and anxiety live chat rooms, to talk in real time with others who understand, in addition to our listeners. There's also an extensive self help library, which covers all the issues you've raised - I've linked to this below. It's great to have you on board, Smash - it can be hard reaching out, but you've managed that step so p!ease know that you're not on your own.
@SmashMouth53
Hey Smash,
I understand your struggle. It's hard when people don't fully understand what's really going on. Sometimes, bipolar can be tough on relationships if the people you surround yourself don't know about your diagnosis or don't understand. GOING THROUGH AN EPISODE IS NOT YOUR FAULT! You can still take accountability and apologize for what's happened, but know that it's your diagnosis, not you.
As for the people who don't understand, you can still be accountable and explain yourself if you'd like, but you can also choose to let them go. You need people who support you, not people who make you feel bad. Taking accountability is important because bipolar is a reason not an excuse and it shows the others that you're now stable and mature. However, if they can't support you or don't want to, that's not your problem right now.
If I were you, I would focus on creating a support system. You can't build a house from the roof down, you have to start with the foundations (support systems, education on bipolar and anxiety, etc). The people that support you, like your husband, are the ones you want to keep to help them and yourself be educated about your diagnosis. A health care team can be a big part of your support system. On 7 cups there are therapists or you can go somewhere local. A therapist, a psychiatrist, a doctor... these are all a part of your support system.
Bipolar can be difficult to navigate, but it's not you're fault if you go through another episode!
I hope this helps <3
-Sel