Mood swings

I feel untreatable. For the past 2 years I've had my mood swing each week.

10 years ago I was diganosised with Bipolar 1, but I haven't been in the hospital again. About 2 years later I relapsed but not enough for hospitalization.

Now this. But my swings now are not as severe.

** Being that it could be worse doesn't make me feel better. **

When I'm down, I constantly dislike myself or tear up. I don't want to do any of my hobbies, it seems like nothing makes me feel better. When I'm up I love things, say my days are good. Doing projects and share a lot.. it feels like I'm happy. But either way I don't feel like myself looking back on it. I did some life style changes like working out but I'm slacking more as it doesn't seem to help.

I fear it's getting worse. Starting to intefere with work, being late. Yet I still sleep at least 4 hours. Somehow my phone says an average of 7?

I've had some med changes and therapy and it still hasn't helped.

I have a psychiatrist appointment tomorrow and I fear it's going to be the same.

I wrote this when I'm down. I don't like any of it.