Why

I am 16, a young boy who has lost his life, I will have a hard time recounting the entire problem, I suffer from a horrible state of mind blanking and emptiness. I tried to commit suicide, but I suddenly regretted and did not complete it, (I'm sensitive so I don't want something bad happen to my family) . (I will explain more after completing my message). help me, it is difficult for me to complete with the psychiatrist, and I didn't have the chance to tell them my full problem and issues (you will get me after u fully read my message), I only went to psychological evaluation with the co-doctor in to order to get the real psychiatrist to prescribe medicine for me and then a review session after a week to ask about my improvement only (I went two weeks ago only twice) because it is expensive, and I might rely on medicines only because I have another meet after a month, and because of certain point about my concentration and anxiety (u will get me after u fully read this.)

I had that mind banking all the time -I guess- since my childhood, so I don't remember any detailed and conscious thinking I've started, Some of the answers to the questions come to me without that detailed and conscious thinking I start, and I am fluent in English since childhood without learning it or knowing its rules (English is my second language), so I thought that I had a superpower, and what an idiot! I thought that everyone is like me, (comes to solutions of things without detailed and conscious thinking) , but no, as for memory, if you want me to repeat what I wrote, I will say something completely different, and forget the (literal) words I say, but I might remember the topic I want to talk about, but it's really hard for me, The words come gradually. And as if - for example - I wanted to play chess, I would have a very difficult time thinking of one move! Perhaps because of my working memory and imagination, my imagination is almost non-existent. I cannot "see" what is inside my mind, and if you wanted me to open a topic for a conversation, I would have really hard time , which made me isolate myself from people. I suffer from problems in my body from natural hair on the forehead, the hair line is located above the eyebrow since childhood, ( was super low) as for my teeth, there is 2 missing lower teeth that is clear to see, poor occlusion and spacing. I have no friends since I was young because of that, and I'm surprised that I couldn't tell them about my problems while I knew they existed , ( like whats wrong with my memory and because I have delusions and obsessions which are illogical and stupid since childhood it sure affected the way I think) I don't know how stupid i am, I hate my self. 3 months ago, I finally told my dad about the forehead and the hair on it, and now it is normal. And what it's all about is I suffer from extra pampering from my mom and dad (I am the youngest), but at the same time they did not realize the problems that I was suffering from and did not notice the reason for my constant isolation, my lack of communicatio with them and with my brothers And they even did not realize that the problem of excessive hair on the forehead (That super low hairline) (how can a person like me solve a problem that is it's anxiety and the fear and the Concentration and memory) Forget about it, how can someone who is a parent not notice that His son (me) ? whose forehead is covered with hair?? And with low hairline (i thought its normal until I googled it and it is done by laser) (I noticed at a late age ,16). they are not cruel to me and at the same time cash is not always available AND at the same time they did not realize that I will suffer from a deficiency of B12 (which - may-affect the brain and nerves -according to what I read- , I have been a vegetarian all my life and realised I have never taken supplements and now I started injections after going to the blood tests that I have never done in the first place except twice in my life

They took me to a good psychiatrist , and the things he asked are an MRI and a blood test The MRI is normal , and the deficiency is vitamin B12 (164 pg/ml) and vitamin D (15 pg/ml) , and the psychiatrist gave me (Respal 1 mg), (Solotik 100mg) I started taking 500 mcg Vitamin B12 Injections.

One answer will help me effectively. I want to know more about this "intuition." Is it like that emotional intelligence and a decrease in logical intelligence? Or is my case something different perhaps? I explain it as an idea with an eyeless vision of the problem (I don't know what's wrong with my imagination) and it provides many solutions Without going into deep details and all this (I gradually go into details with same way), and it happens in seconds, and comes into my mind as it gives me an explanation that is “logical” for me and for others as well, and I can know why I chose the answer, I don't just feel the answer, I explain it with a lot of words like I did here, But at the same time, I may forget the reason for choosing it and the logical reasoning that comes with it (as I said, I have a problem with my memory and concentration if I did not write it down quickly) ,And the idea comes in the form of symbols or "codes" that I can't see or hear, they are neither words or pictures, It's lines of quick pictures that i can't see or hear, but I understand clearly.