Does anyone know what it could be?!

Hi all, about a year ago I created a fake Instagram account and I can't seem to let go 😕 I have depression, currently on the waiting list for therapy. I find it hard to delete the page and never return because I made bonds that I usually have a difficult time making on my own. When I'm on the page it's a escape from reality but it's also wrong I know. I'm not catfishing for money, Cyber bullying or anything else except connections. it's just for the attention I crave but can't manage offline. On the fake account I'm able to open up to people in ways I just can't in real life you know. It's easier to tell my life problems to a stranger behind another person's face because they don't know who I really am versus real life if that all makes sense