i need answers

I don't know what's wrong with me. Sometimes when I hangout or talk to my friends, it somehow feels tiring that I wanna teleport everytime I'm with people and it's so much better when I'm isolating, it doesn't feel tiring or exhausting but I feel numb. I ghost my friends for months or years whenever I feel that way and just come back like nothing happened. And sometimes I love people who are close to me but sometimes I just hate them for no reason that I want to cut them off without a valid reason then an hour later I love them again, I also get mad at them without a reason that I end up saying things I never wanted them to hear and sometimes I get violent. I want to know what's wrong with me or why I'm acting like this.