28 year old loser
Hey. I'm a 28 year old loser who's about to graduate with a degree I have no passion for working an entry level job most people my age use as side gigs. I have no self esteem and as a result everyone hates me and it makes me want to cry.
I want to know if things can get better for me, or if I've burned all my goodwill. Most people look at me like I'm an idiot, and I'm so burned out on proving myself to people who don't respect me. The worst part is I really feel like they shouldn't.
I've been in and out of therapy so often in life, I constantly wonder when I should cut my loses. I think most people whove known me irl would tell me to do a flip if I threatened myself. I have things I want to do with my life but I'm so afraid that I've made so many mistakes I should just let go. I really wish I could make a difference and feel secure in myself again and having a career in something I can stand by would be the biggest difference but I don't know if that's possible.
Hey @xxxbluebirdxxx, I'm really glad you reached out 💜 I can hear how much this is impacting you right now, and it takes a lot of courage to say it out loud. It sounds like you are feeling a mix of emotions (burnout, self-doubt, the fear you've messed up too many times, the feeling that everyone sees you in the worse possible light), that doesn't make you a loser at all. It makes you someone who's hurting and trying to make sense of where you are in life.
I can relate to the way you spoke about your degree and job. A lot of people end up graduating in something they don't feel passionate about, or working roles that don't match the picture they had in their head at 28. That doesn't mean you've failed or are behind. It just means your path hasn't lined up with the expectations you had for yourself, and you're not alone in feeling this way.
When you’re already feeling low, it’s so easy to assume everyone hates you or sees you as less than. But those thoughts come from pain, not truth. You’re not someone who’s burned all their goodwill. You’re someone who’s been trying, over and over, even when it feels like you’re getting nowhere. That effort matters, even if you can’t see it yet.
You mentioned wanting a career you can stand by, something that feels meaningful. That hope is important. It means there’s still a part of you that believes life can be different, even if you’re scared it’s too late. It isn’t. You haven’t ruined your chances. You haven’t used up all your opportunities. You’re allowed to want more for yourself.
Are there any careers that you have interests in that you would like to explore?
You're more than welcome to keep talking here if it helps you get some of this out, and if you ever want someone to listen privately, you can reach out to a 1:1 listener but there is no pressure at all.
Sending you virtual hugs!💜
Emma
Hey Emma, thank you so much for talking to me. I've always been interested in non profit work, and I have a true passion for animals, I've done a lot of work in the animal industry, and I'd also be interested in helping people. My parents convinced me to switch my major from psychology to business, and when I returned to school I was so burned on my education that I didn't want to change my major again, I was so close to the end.
I think my major issue is that I try to see the best in everyone and empathise too much. I don't want to treat people like thieves or criminals because I feel I've made a lot of mistakes in my life and I'd want to extend that grace to others. I also don't judge based on physical appearance and I feel I'm currently working in an environment that expects me to profile people. I also have poor communication skills so I may feel this way deeply in my heart, so much so that it causes conflict between my managers and I, most people I interact with on a regular basis leave thinking the worst of me.
I'm currently a cashier. I've also not been able to keep my jobs for more than a year or so at a time due to my anxiety. I often quit because I feel management wished they could fire me and didn't know how to and it would leave me feeling unstable so my resume is a mess as a result. I'm sticking it out here to prove to myself I can work somewhere for a year, but my depression is getting worse and I wrote this in a really dark place last night.
@xxxbluebirdxxx
You are not loser as you still trying despite having so many hardships. What you are feeling is valid, you don't have to feel embarrassed about it I'm sure in your situation most of the people felt the same. Let your breath. There will be a new day, you are not failing until you keep trying.
I respect your feelings, Everything would be fine
