At my previous Job
I was a 2nd Custodian for a school. For the past 22 years I went through a cycle of odd interactions with teachers, the job it's self was too big for me. It was extremely lonely after everyone went home. The job proved to be bad for both my physical health, and mental health.
I need friendships in my life. I need to feel loved and appreciated. I'm not a robot. Those interactions were odd. I could never tell a 100% who was my friend and who wasn't. Things always stayed on the surface level. The teachers were kind and then unkind, and kind and unkind. 90% of them just ignored my very existence. I was always scared of upsetting or offending someone. I often felt like I couldn't completely be myself or I would really be hated.
I'm glad that I finally resigned, but now I can't handle how hard it is to apply for jobs. I mean I can't even figure out where to apply. I know it sounds easy, but when I tried to apply for 5 different places, I couldn't find an application anywhere. In fact I'm not sure there is a job out there that fits me period. I hate to say I am worthless, but the truth is I don't have much to offer anyone. Knowing this makes me sad. 🙁 That is why I think people like to mistreat me. ☹️
If you are thinking about doing another cleaning job, ever thought about looking at local hospitals? They seem to be always hiring for housekeeping positions. You're either assigned to a department or two, where when I patient is discharged, you clean and disinfect their area. Some hospitals give you a pager, where they notify you when a patient is discharged, and you just accept it and go clean their space.
If you're not looking for a similar job, what other jobs do you have interest in applying to?
@tryingtosurvive2024
@Jaeteuk I would like to stay out of cleaning like that if I could. Being a janitor was berating. People looked down on you, and you could feel it. I got interests in things like computers, model airplanes, and Audio stuff. The problem is due my learning disability I'm almost useless on an industrial level. For that reason may need to try and go on disability, but the thing is I think they probably even make that too hard for me. So I may end up on the street, as a homeless person. I have always had a sad vision of that in my head.
I see, fair enough. Are there like job search agencies in your area? They help you find jobs based on your strengths and needs. They may be something onsite, or even online. I've used both in my area in the past, and they basically help you pick and choose, and you can accept them or not. They're usually like small jobs, but you can do these as you look for a proper job.
@tryingtosurvive2024
@Jaeteuk I was looking into job search agencies in my area. There seems to be but I'm confused by them. It seems that each one specializes in one type of job over another. I'm not a production type person. I know because I have done that kind of work, and got fired from it.
Do you have Vocational Rehabilitation services where you are at? If so, they may be able to assist you with exploring different careers and your job search.
@hematite43 That is a good idea! When I was trying to get my last job, I was in one of those. But soon after I got placed that person who headed it up, quit her job, as far as I know that particular service also got dissolved. ☹️
@tryingtosurvive2024
Are you in the U.S.? I'm thinking that each state should have such a Voc Rehab department...
@hematite43 maybe, I'm not sure. I need something local enough to help me of course.
Someone suggested that I try chatgpt. Today I looked up some videos and watched them. My goodness that is complicated too! This is hard for me. I am feeling stupid.