Coworkers.
Hey, I've been getting a lot of sick leaves the oast 2 years od my apprenticeship. On top of that, I probably get most homeoffice out of all of my coworkers, because I ask more.
My boss knows I'm mentally not that well.
My coworkers think he lets me do whatever I want cause he dated an apprentice before, and likes the ladies a bit more, apparently.
Now they keep getting madder and really toxic about how unfair it is and about how I do whatever I want.
And I get that. I understand they feel it's unfair, and I know I need to get better.
And I really would explain to them that I hardly spend a week without suicidal thoughts, that I'm looking for a psychologist to help me, cause those thoughts and other things have been going on for years now, and that I ohysicslly can't breathe oe get out of bed sometimes.
But they'd just mock it. Tell me to grow up and start acting like an adult.
I don't know what to do. I ignored their last texts from today, in which they're really mad at me for calling in sick today - second time this week. It's fair, but I already feel like ***, which is WHY I DIDNT MAKE IT, and each time I rwad a text of theirs I have that huge dread in my gut. So maybw they think I'm laughing, ignoring them and lazing around happily - but It's really the opposite.
I don't know how to make this calm doen. It's eirher I answer - and they keep stressing me - or I keep ignoring them over the weekend and need to explain myself in person monday, shaking and stumbling over my words - but that's probably gonna happen either way.
@Mika404
The thing is it really is none of their ( co-workers) business and you do not have to prove or explain to them you are unwell or having problems. Less said is probably better as some people simply do not understand mental health struggles.
IF your employer ( boss) is understanding or needs to know fine but coworkers do not. I get it may increase their work etc but work and life is not about being fair....
You have asked to do more remote and boss agreed , maybe they never asked or..... perhaps they did and were turned down as NOT all workers are productive when remote..... that is on them not you.
@Mika404
I think those are two sides of the same story: On one hand, I understand your health is your priority (and I believe that is the way it should be!). On the other hand, I understand it, too, that people at your work expect you to be the part of the team. I think your doctor's diagnosis on your emotional wellbeing is the thing that could draw the line between the former and the latter.
On a side note: Do you think it might be useful to check if your working remotely from home is really better for you in the long term than being among people and socialising? For example: wouldn't being amidst co-workers safer than alone at home while you are exposed to possible suicidal ideations?
I first of all don't think they want me to be a part od the team. I'm really just lame for them and they'd be glad if I didn't work with them.
They just want me to be at work for fairness, cause they think iti's unfair that they're at work every day at 8 and I "just do what I wanz and take advantage of the womens favour".
I've talked to my doctor. She asked me few questions and then went on telling me about a documentairy about internet addiction and jeff bezos on netflix(?) And that I'm at an age at which this is a normal 'phase', and that the tiredness is just from lack of iron.
Somehow she still gavr me two comtacts for psychotherapy, so I'm awaiting an answer now from them.
To your first question - the thing is, working from home doesn't really make a lot of sense on my job in the electronics field. When we work at home we usually just have a task that takes 3 hours and then you're done for the day. So in sense of learning, working from home isn't good, even if I hate my job.
And if socializing is better? Maybe it would be, but I'm not the way they want me to be. I'm quiet, I don't like the way they talk about others and in most conversations I rather not engage in. When we got to know each other, it was way better - but it got a lot worse over the last two years, cause I didn't come to some events, didn't stay longer after work to drink that often ect.
And of course, cause I got a lot of sick days.
I'm not the most social person. It stresses me to be around people. I get tired after seeing my best friend few days in a row, even if I love her - people that physically feel physicslly unsafe are the worst to be around.
And the way they talk really does feel unsafe, though maybe that's just me that takes things too seriously.
Example quote directed at me: "hey, maybe you should bait our boss into r*ping you, so you can sue him afterwards and we get a new boss"
So all in all, I think at home, where I bury myself in whatever I like to do, even if I have no energy and it just ends up being watching something, I'm least stressed and don't think about suicidal things as much as at work.
@Mika404
'Example quote directed at me: "hey, maybe you should bait our boss into r*ping you, so you can sue him afterwards and we get a new boss"'
Indeed, a comment like that sounds on the verge of mobbing and very substandard 😕