Dreading work, asking for insights
Hi, reading yall's posts have really encouraged me to share something, since i realised there are people who have likely come across the same situation as me and managed to resolve it. I hope i can get some insights from you all.
So I'm a very young professional, a year or so out of college and into my first full-time role. I was lucky to land a well-paid position in corporate. However, downside is my field is quite niche so there is few substitute employers.
Lately, my hapiness is low (likely) because of role misfit, lack of structured training during onboarding and personal friction. However, pressure is mounting. My responsibility are more in number and difficulty. I am scolded more, expected more. My co workers and managers are mean quite often, through humor, criticism, or neglect. There are also negative rumors which have surfaced.
To the best of my ability, I have tried to learn from my seniors, avoid mistakes, complete tasks and keep office relationships at a professional level. However, the office situation is still very uncomfortable to me and my productivity/general mental well-being is suffering as a result. Everyday I dread going to work and the future in the field I've worked so hard for. I am exhausted mentally and physically. I feel like without work, I can sleep for days on end.
Thank you for reading the post. I hope I can have some insights from people who has experienced/seen something similar. Take care!
@creativeOak6676
it may not be the field just the employer. do you have a chance to have a productive conversation with the manager or find a co-worker mentor to help you pick up things if the training was incomplete? Was this a set group of people when you were hired? Some staff may feel challenged by a new person. I had someone critic my work constantly, not because I was wrong, but they did it different and my way worked better for team.
If it is beyond that while your school or degree was for a specific thing does not mean various skills or training could not be used is a similar but different field.
Hi, thank you for your reply.
While the group of people is set, I think that I may make people feel challenged in a group setting. I don't shy from voicing opinions/solutions and sometimes, I can win trust of higher-ups (here i mean people higher than my direct manager) quickly. Therefore, I've had people bypass stuff I own or butt in aggressively when I try to report upwards.
About the training part. Unfortunately, despite voicing multiple times towards people in charge of my training and my direct manager, the training has been very unproductive. Some basic parts of the training are being picked up as of now when workload inevitably force them to include the younger ones. Some newcomers who came after me are being integrated much faster. Some of them received training and work destribution before i did, despite coming in 1-2 months after me and having the same or less experience.
@creativeOak6676
May not be a skill issue if people feel intimidated in any way by you. Even if you are a team player people remember and keep first impressions.
A vocal person who has higher ups like them may rub insecure people the wrong way.
I see. Thank you for your insight. It is helpful to hear a neutral voice.
I have a similar situation, for when I first joined the workplace I'm currently at now. I joined in the first quarter of 2025, as a newcomer to the workplace, compared to those who have been here 10+ years. I was offered a different position late summer of 2025. So, there were a couple of staff who had wanted to work that position, but management was not supportive and did not appoint them. So, when Management announced that I am the successful candidate, those two staff started to ignore me. One of the two took several months before we were on good terms again. I was told my management that their actions and behaviour were out of jealousy, and anger, not to me, but to the management who didn't choose them for that role and took it out on me.
So, it seems with your situation, because you do speak up and stand for yourself, the staff see you as a threat, so, instead of changing themselves to work better, they turned to criticism and spreading rumours. As for the staff that started later than you, is their personality more submissive? So that makes it easier for the staff to give them work, knowing they will just go with it.
In a very small niche, it seems it'll be difficult to find another company to work in, until you've accumulated more experience to change companies; you'll have to try and tough it out. Just do your best in your part, and let the others act out on you. Try to see it that they are not necessarily acting out because of you as a person, but on the system has made them. They were so used to having people do as they say, rather than having them voice their own opinions.
Is it too early to take a stress leave, or call in sick for a few days? You need to reset your mind, think about all the schooling you've completed to come this far. Being able to work in a profession you've studied hard for, is rare in itself. As I know many, who do not end up working in a profession they had studied and ended up with doing something entirely different. So be proud of that.
Every workplace, there will always be someone who will end up criticizing others. Maybe they see a strength in the newcomer that they never had and knowing that they could never reach that level, rather than making changes in themselves, they act out on the newcomer instead. So it's never something against that person specifically, but rather an anger within themselves. Not knowing what they can do, they chose to turn to that person to release their grievances.
@creativeOak6676
Hi, congrats for your appointment! I hope that is still working out well for you.
And yes, the other new-comers are much less vocal and it turns out well for them. Sometimes, observing them make me question myself if I had been the unreasonable one.
Deep down I look up to my co-workers/managers and I often do my best to learn from them and work with them. I don't want anyone to see me as a threat and vice-versa. Unfortunately, negative moments still gets to me and trying to suck it up is only making work increasingly more uncomfortable.
Another aspect to consider is that I am often quiet in social settings unless somebody starts a conversation and that I have a serious face, which does not help at all when trying to socialize. On the contrary, other people are comfortable with small talk and can act more cheerful. In this aspect, I also do not know how to resolve because trying to replicate the above everyday at the workplace would drain me so so much. Thank god I still can be pretty comfortable at work parties and socialize well in casual settings.
