How to break the circle
Hello everyone!
I have been working for one company for many years, I have high position in the company and I worked very hard to get there. However, I constantly see myself being mistrested, distespected and used. I've been doing overtime and overtime and overtime and so on. I don't really want to go, but I don't see things changing. However, I don't have time or money to change it. I have Dreams, hobbies I did not touch for years. I feel like I'm losing myself and I know I would be better at what I do if I felt... good. I have problems with depression for around 15 years but never found a therapist that was good for me. Well, I don't have time for therapy anyway.
I don't know what to do. I'm unhealthy, slightly overweight, I don't have any social life outside of my family but I berely spend time with my family outside of the ones at home.
I'm burned out. I'm feeling lost. I feel like life is just going forwards with me as a robot. Outside of me.
@ConsiderateCat
That is a tough spot to be ..... if you put in the time to work your way up ... what was the payoff more OT and no life. The will treat you badly because they KNOW you have the i can not let up for a moment attitude..... they throw more work or work others do not want because you still have the go getter attitude that would do all to move up.......
A work life balance is important .... many workaholics and people who only see themselves in what they do for a living often do not understand that.
Take time for yourself period........ do small things and the rest will follow ....
example i was a "dedicated" employee practically ate lunch at desk... in case someone emailed etc answered right then ..... I was miserable gaining weight etc.... I started walking at lunch company was located by park ..... left the building took my breaks even though before others just expected me to be at desk .....
The world did not stop the response to emails or messages were a bit later then they would have been ....... and at end of day after a certain time they go to tomorrow i would literally before sit done research and answer people who emailed 5 minutes before quitting time..... no one noticed this dedication but EXPECTED it .... because i conditioned them to
@ConsiderateCat
Congratulations on the hard work that you put in to be able to move into the high position that you moved into.
I'm hearing you about the stress and depression and lack of satisfaction.
Have you considered making some small changes to see if they could help you? Even a small break to get out of the office for lunch or taking a few minutes to go outside to get out of your chair at your desk and breathing in some fresh air?
I agree with @toughTiger6481 about the work-life balance. It's important to have time for work, but also for relaxation and time for your family. Being in a high position does typically require a higher volume of work, but it also brings with it the opportunity to delegate some things sometimes. Sometimes scheduling your hours as well.
I don't know if that is true for you, but sometimes, if you have the capability, schedule your work hours to your times of energy and focus that work best for you. For example, I get the most energy in the late afternoon and evening. So I schedule things that need detailed focus later in the day and evening. Things that don't require intense focus, I schedule earlier in the day because I focus less during those hours.
You mentioned that you don't have time to see a therapist. Since covid, more and more therapists are providing virtual sessions. If the depression is still bothering you, would it help to be able to spend an hour a week to address what is causing the depression so you could feel better for a while until you have that under control? I hear you're busy, but sometimes having that support for an hour can make you feel like you gained 2 hours because you might feel lighter.
Just some things to think about. Remember that you are more important than your job, so you deserve the time you pour into yourself as much as your job.
I hope you will keep posting your thoughts and challenges.
@ConsiderateCat
I have also been experiencing terrible burnout at work. For me, I think I just have been at the job too long. About two years ago, I took a promotion, thinking maybe the change would help with my bouts of burnout. Something different. More administrative duties vs. being a line guy in the trenches if you know what I mean. I have regretted it since. In all honesty, most of my stress and issues as a supervisor come from subordinate(or insubordinate, in some cases) staff, not the work load I have on me. Due to some of my staff being the way they are, I either cannot or am afraid to delegate things. Not to offend the younger generation, but I find their work ethic completely different from the way we were raised. My own kids included. And that bothers me because I felt like I set a good example as a hard working, no nonsense parent, but that is another story for another thread. I have the attitude that "its easier for me to just do it myself than to have to re-do it because someone else screwed it up". I am slowly learning to change that attitude and let the chips fall where they may. Being a higher up isn't always the best thing for a person. I have many times thought about giving up the title, to lessen the stress on me, but mama didn't raise no quitter.....so I have been here at 7cups, getting some great advice and ideas for coping until I can retire in about 3 years and 5 months, but who's counting. There may come a time before I retire that I cannot do it any more and have to give up the title for my own well being, but I am going to give it my best shot before I do that. Hang in there. Browse the forums. There is some good advice and ideas here about anxiety, work and career issues, and depression. Try a listener or even a therapist here if you think it will help. This site has helped me greatly.