Stressed
Forgive me if this is scattered, there's a lot going on and I haven't slept much.
Some time ago, I got accepted for a tentative new work position. It's great (it is unpaid but am going into a new career direction and my uncle arranged for me to work at an university 2 days a week as a stepping stone to get into a new working field which is amazing) but at the same time I find myself intimidated by the prospect. In the past, I've had a very stressful event at work causing me to need to recouperate for years with therapy etc to feel better again unemployed, and I know I'm still not a 100% stress free and recovered even if I've made a loooot of progress since.
Problem is - I'm currently working 2 jobs to get by (retail jobs but I like them well enough). And now, having this oppertunity also means I have to quit 1 of them. Howevever the breakup is making me feel really bad. It concerns a company I've worked for a year now. Even though I like the work itself the environment is pretty awful in some regards. E.g. there's very little safety procedures (working with big machines) and the company as a whole had a very erratic way of doing this I've learned. They reneged on earlier promises made concerning wage during the initial job interview after a few months which I thought was ***. They also offer very variable working hours and any sort of vacation time is hard to come by (asked for my 2nd week in a years time but it was met very lukewarm even though they ultimately conceded, whereas I've worked a lot to help them when they were short on staff the past year which made me feel bad about their reaction).
I've already told this company I was going to quit today but it felt awful. As a backdrop, when I initially applied they told me they needed someone long term since there's hefty 4-5 month lead-in period (paid) at the job before I can be put to work. I agreed but year down the line feel the job is just not for me. I realize this works out badly for them having only worked 6 months after intial 4.5 month of investment from their side. But also just them just trying to go back on earlier promises makes me feel like I just don't want to work there. I just find myself very conflicted even though I know it is the right decision (the other 2nd job company I work for for 6 months now has been great and very fair in their treatment of me and always kept up their end of the bargain and provide good working conditions).
I know I am very insecure of these kinds of things. I've had a discussion with my employer where I asked to quit today and obviously they were displeased. I'm trying to keep things just pleasant I guess and not to make it into a 'bad breakup' and stated the company is just not for me. But they arranged another meeting with me where I know they'll try to pressure me into staying even tho I know I won't cuz I'm just simply done with working there if I'm honest after my experiences there. But I feel really *** about it also since the work itself is kind of cool and I really did want to work there longer before of all the messy stuff, like not following up and me having to put in so much effort to them paying out properly and all the like.
Right now I've just been stressed. I'm also rather isolated (though the short contact I've had with nee job position they sound very kind) and find it hard dealing with the pressure on my own since in past I've had people in real life to count on but now I don't. I am really excited but the prospect of jumping from 24 hrs to 36 is very daunting (but I'll be happy in both working environments I think).
It's 4 AM and I couldn't sleep so I thoughy I'd put it out there, thanks to anyone willing to read this messy 1 person ramble lol since I guess I'm just in need for some venting
@sirKeats
Aww Keats.. that sounds like a really confusing and stressing period of time you're having to go through..
I can understand the dilemma you've come across and yes, job satisfaction is a very important factor. If it doesn't seem like a job for you, it's okay to leave it.
All of this can seem like it's weighing on you and I'm so glad you chose to vent about it. You really needed to vent and this is a space for you where you can come any time :)
You've been having so much going on in your head and it can feel really overwhelming; especially if it's something career related.. I want you to take care of yourself and also prioritize your well being and happiness. Do what feels right, for YOU. Because it's YOU that matters.
Wishing you all the best buddy💪
and yes, everything will be okay. Keep going
Sending loads of love your way💖
@CompassionateArrow
Thank you, also for the good wishes, really means a lot to me.
To follow-up.. we had the next convo. They wanted me to work longer which I took a stand and said I really wanted to to abide by the 4 week margin after which I'd be done. I hated being so definitive. They also mentioned scheduling conflicts if I leave (having to find people to fill in will be hard). I felt for them but just feel like if I gave in I'd be not really standing up for myself given they haven't held up promises from their side in a number of ways.
Since then I thought maybe it was horrible to return afterwards filling my final shifts the coming weeks but it wasn't bad. My lead supervisor there was actually still kind which I really appreciated (I was kind of scared they might all shun me, not sure if that was an over-exageration). During the meeting the woman in charge (who was the same who reneged their promises) DID say she thought i was being unflexible and I didn't bring up that they broke their promises but kind of wish but didn't matter a whole lot ultimately I think.
For now I'm glad it's done. I'm just not very steadfast which makes me doubt a lot and am glad I could vent to relieve some of my insecurities at least.
@sirKeats
It's all about job satisfaction, my friend. They failed to keep their promises and you wanting to leave this job because of that is sensible. Or anything that disrupts your peace while working, for that matter. Standing up for yourself doesn't need a second thought buddy, I'll be there to reassure you that.
Thank you so much for keeping me updated and I would love to keep hearing from you 😄
Take care and good luck buddy💗💗
@CompassionateArrow
Acutally worked my last shift last wednesday! Have transitioned fully my hours to a 2nd work place. I'm not too close with the people there but they've always treated me with a lot of respect so for the moment that's what is most important for me. And glad to have put this behind me for now lol. You are right that I feel like there's good reason for my actions but I've always struggled with self-doubt. Thanks for all the positive wishes and support, really appreciate it
@sirKeats
Keats, I'm so happy for you.. Once you find yourself settled in this new place everything will be alright.. I believe in you champ, you got this💪
Amongst all the stressor you've laid out, I'm glad to hear that you'll stand firm in leaving the company even if the employer pressures you to stay after a second meeting! That's courage. Many of us will give in to pressure, as it makes us feel guilty. But it seems you know what you want in a job perspective, so it is good.
I think any employer will give pressure to those who are wanting to quit, in hopes to have them change their mind and stay. Especially for companies that don't have a good reputation and it's hard to hire employees that are willing to stay for the long-term. So, don't feel bad for leaving.
Here's to hoping a smoother ride in your new job~
@Jaeteuk
Thank you. Yeah they tried everything under the sun. To be honest normally and with every other job in the past I was always willing to look at the terms of ending together and accomdate where I could but here it felt like I'd be just not standing up for myself properly. The way certain things were handled those first few months I just found hurtful and it felt very bad being in a vulnerable position and terms of engagement being changed like this with no say from me to influence that (I could've quit but was already going for 3 months at that point and needed a job and couldn't throw all that away at that point).
hoping my new work-place will work out well too! I'm glad with the 2nd employer I'm with now they've always been very kind and will have a lot of peace of mind working there (even if the work itself is a bit less stimulating in certain aspects)
@sirKeats my opinion is to go on a ride and check out the beauties of your city I know a site that provides the best and cheapest cab service. And their drivers are also very friendly you must book a ride from here.