Forum Discussion: Motivation and Positive Self-Talk
Hello Everyone!
I am Tazzie, the Community Mentor Leader of the People of Color Support sub-community. I have written this discussion on Motivation and Positive Self-Talk, in hopes that it serves as an inspiration to you. I hope this information can be beneficial in your daily lives, as well as the lives of those around you.
✦ What is motivation?
Motivation is the general desire of someone wanting to act or behave in a particular way. Motivation can be intrinsic (comes from within) and extrinsic (dependent on external factors such as rewards, praises, money etc.)
✦ Why is motivation important?
Motivation is central to everything positive that we want to do in our lives. It is also very important for our self-esteem! Many times, you may feel motivated by external forces. For example, people around you may encourage you to start something new or begin moving in a positive direction. You might also be motivated by negative events and use them as a way to push yourself to work harder in order to achieve positive outcomes. However, what is more important is how you talk to yourself about the things that happen to you. How you talk to yourself matters. You are listening.
✦ Lets take a look at some of the reasons why we may feel demotivated:
Fear of Failure: Some people are raised in homes, where families have high expectations and perfectionistic attitudes. This inculcates the fear of making mistakes, in teens and children. This develops an inherent fear of failure, which then results in avoiding work and the fear then manifests in later stages of life as well.
Low self-esteem: People may have a low sense of self-esteem. They may feel incapable of attaining success. They will frequently self-sabotage.
Depression: Anhedonia or lack of interest in activities, is a common symptom of depression. People experiencing depression lose interest in activities they once found enjoyable.
Lack of interest: Some projects or tasks may seem uninteresting. This results in the lack of willingness to engage in these tasks. The attention diverts to something else instead and this affects grades or results in low performance.at work.
Procrastination: Procrastination occurs for several reasons. These include feeling anxious, feeling depressed, fear of failure and/or feeling overwhelmed.
Stress: Majority of our cognitive and emotional bandwidths are inhabited by stress. Sometimes, people feel overwhelmed and avoid deadlines.Lack of sleep due to stress can also make it difficult to keep ourselves motivated.
How do people generally talk to themselves when they are experiencing little to no motivation?
I am not ever good enough
I dont think I can accomplish this goal
I have never done this before so I dont think I can do it
I am a failure
We are often running on an autopilot mode and allowing our negative thoughts to bring about unnecessary distress in our lives. A negative thought diminishes your confidence and your ability to bring about positive changes in your life. It often leads to catastrophizing and self-blaming behavior.
Negative belief turns into a negative thought---negative thought turns into negative words--negative words change into negative actions--- negative actions turn into negative habits.
I hear you say But how do I stop this negative self-talk ?
✦ Catch yourself saying the thought, say it out loud, recognize that it is negative and counteract this thought with a positive one.
✦ Shift your perspective - Many times, negative thoughts stem from placing too great an emphasis on something. Stop and ask yourself How will this matter 5 years from now?
Examples:
I am not ever good enough.
I accept myself for who I am, I am imperfect but I have many wonderful qualities.
I dont think I can accomplish this goal.
I will work hard, use resources, seek help and complete this task to the best of my ability.
I have never done this before so I dont think I can do it.
This is an opportunity for me to do something new and learn from it."
I am a failure.
Its okay to make mistakes, mistakes are proof that I am trying.
A positive attitude when combined with actions, enables us to cope more easily with stressful situations and the daily challenges of life. One of the greatest benefits positive thinking can provide is better psychological, emotional and physical well-being.
Questions for Discussion:
✦ Why is intrinsic motivation important to you?
✦ What causes your lack of motivation?
✦ What emotions or feelings do you associate with the lack of motivation?
✦ Can you give examples of any negative phrases or words you say to yourself when you are not feeling motivated enough?
✦ What are some positive affirmations that you can use in your everyday life?
✦ According to you, what are the benefits of living life with an optimistic approach?
✦ Finally, how has this discussion helped you?
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@Tazzie
Thank you for this eloquent, succinct and pithy write-up. I enjoyed reading through it immensely.
@scenicwindow
I am very happy to hear that. Thank you for taking the time to read it all. I appreciate your feedback very much.
@Tazzie
You're welcome, Tazzie.
@Tazzie Wow, this is very good. I learned a lot :) <3 Thank you for this! I am happy for these threads as it widens my understanding about things.
@BunnieLuv
Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it.
@Tazzie Thank you for this wonderful post and I'm looking forward to the next one. 
@sweetrosa1987
Thank you! :)
✦ Why is intrinsic motivation important to you?
intrinsic motivation is important to me because it's real motivation. it shows i really want it for me although i'm really motivated by money XD so my grandparents can keep on paying me and i'll accept it :P<3
✦ What causes your lack of motivation?
Myself mostly and negative thoughts. I hate failing so I stop myself from even trying I guess
✦ What emotions or feelings do you associate with the lack of motivation?
bad feelings like feeling really bad about myself
✦ Can you give examples of any negative phrases or words you say to yourself when you are not feeling motivated enough?
I say mean things to myself all the time in my head!
✦ What are some positive affirmations that you can use in your everyday life?
I like this kanye quote about optimism
✦ According to you, what are the benefits of living life with an optimistic approach?
I think you help set yourself up for success that way. It's alot better when you can believe something is possible instead of always feeling like you're stuck and can't change things
✦ Finally, how has this discussion helped you?
This discussion helped me to this about the factors affecting my motivation
@summertimeSamness
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Believing in the possibility of something happening can drive us forward to take the necessary steps, in order to make it a reality.
@Tazzie Thank you for this discussion!
✦ Why is intrinsic motivation important to you? I think it's very important because external factors and environment can be constantly changing or very difficulty change so our motivation depending only on that would makes things though, intrinsic motivation allow us to have this flame no matter what the external factors are.
✦ What causes your lack of motivation? In my case I feel mental illness is the main factor along with low self-esteem.
✦ What emotions or feelings do you associate with the lack of motivation? Frustration, tiredness, laziness even helplessness at times.
✦ Can you give examples of any negative phrases or words you say to yourself when you are not feeling motivated enough? "I am not good enough" "people will think I'm silly for trying" "I am a mess"
✦ What are some positive affirmations that you can use in your everyday life? Allow yourself to try. Allow yourself to fall and to succeed. You have the right to have flaws and make mistakes. You'll never know if you never try.
✦ According to you, what are the benefits of living life with an optimistic approach? Opening to opportunities, experiences and growth. Realizing things I am capable of. Feeling proud of myself when I achieve something.
✦ Finally, how has this discussion helped you? Very helpful to take a time to analyze how motivation works in my life!
@HereComesTheSun7
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Intrinsic motivation can certainly keep us going even when we don't have motivation from outside sources. "The true measure of success is how many times you can bounce back from failure." We should allow ourselves to put in the effort, make mistakes and learn from those experiences.
✦ Why is intrinsic motivation important to you?
Intrinsic motivation is important to me because this type of motivation is doing something that you simply love. So, In that case it's really important to me.
✦ What causes your lack of motivation?
For me it was when I used to compare myself to others. I often see when I compare myself to x or b I stop "trying" I put myself in the "I did slightly better so it's fine". Now, I'm bursting with motivation! Haha!
✦ What emotions or feelings do you associate with the lack of motivation?
Emptiness, Numb in a sense, Lonely, Anxious and Detached.
✦ Can you give examples of any negative phrases or words you say to yourself when you are not feeling motivated enough?
"You're not enough" -
✦ What are some positive affirmations that you can use in your everyday life?
I am capable of what I am willing to work for, To love myself, is the ultimate love, No one controls how I feel about myself, but me. -
✦ According to you, what are the benefits of living life with an optimistic approach?
It can reduce the stress you experience, Your emotions can be better controlled, Healthy living, creates a positive attitude and expectations.
✦ Finally, how has this discussion helped you?
This discussion help me learn more about motivation :D <3 <3 (Very helpful!!)
@Skybar
Thank you Sky!
You provided some great examples of positive affirmations. I'm glad the post helped you.
✦ Why is intrinsic motivation important to you?
I am at a point in my life that self worth is on the front burner guiding me through all of my new life endeavors.
✦ What causes your lack of motivation?
Anything from depression to poor nutrition.
✦ What emotions or feelings do you associate with the lack of motivation?
Depression, unrequited love, inability to get started, procrastination.
✦ Can you give examples of any negative phrases or words you say to yourself when you are not feeling motivated enough?
What I do doesn't matter. I'm not worth the bother.
✦ What are some positive affirmations that you can use in your everyday life?
I am enough. I will try again.
✦ According to you, what are the benefits of living life with an optimistic approach?
Tasks seem smaller when you approach them with a positive viewpoint.
✦ Finally, how has this discussion helped you?
It has reminded me to watch my negative self-talk.
@JolivetteListens
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I am happy to hear that it gave you time for self-reflection. You totally got this!
✦ Why is intrinsic motivation important to you?
Intrinsic motivation is important for me because I believe that I can be my own hero, but also my own enemy. I realize I need to learn how to build up my own motivation and save myself from stagnation, lack of progress.
✦ What causes your lack of motivation?
Procrastination, for sure.
✦ What emotions or feelings do you associate with the lack of motivation?
Laziness and at worst, depression.
✦ Can you give examples of any negative phrases or words you say to yourself when you are not feeling motivated enough?
You're not good enough to finish this, why bother. Or, why bother starting if I don't know anything about it. Along the lines of that.
✦ What are some positive affirmations that you can use in your everyday life?
"I'm intelligent and I'm able to accomplish anything I put my mind to."
✦ According to you, what are the benefits of living life with an optimistic approach?
It saves a whole lot of time and energy instead of moping around, not doing anything, and staying that way.
✦ Finally, how has this discussion helped you?
This discussion has been a kind reminder for what I'm capable of if I am willing to motivate myself to make progress with my life. And for that, I thank you personally, @Tazzie <3
@wildsiamreads
Thank you so much for taking the time to read it. You certainly can accomplish anything you set your mind to. The sky is the limit :)
@wildsiamreads I love the positive affirmation you use!!
Questions for Discussion:
✦ Why is intrinsic motivation important to you?
It is important because I can be my own worst critic at times...
✦ What causes your lack of motivation?
Sometimes I just feel insignificant.
✦ What emotions or feelings do you associate with the lack of motivation?
Lost hope, unrequited love, emptiness.
✦ Can you give examples of any negative phrases or words you say to yourself when you are not feeling motivated enough?
It doesn't matter so why try? No one ever understands you.
✦ What are some positive affirmations that you can use in your everyday life?
I am enough.
✦ According to you, what are the benefits of living life with an optimistic approach?
It drives you to keep going even when the end of the road is obscured by clouds.
✦ Finally, how has this discussion helped you?
It has reminded me to keep trying.
@JolivetteListens
Thank you once again for sharing more thoughts on this topic. It certainly allows us to keep moving forward regardless of how difficult circumstances may be.
✦ Why is intrinsic motivation important to you? It helps me to get through the day with a positive mental attitude. I don't get that much affirmations from my friends and family, so I have to get a grip of myself.
✦ What causes your lack of motivation? Constancy. Rituals.
✦ What emotions or feelings do you associate with the lack of motivation? Sluggishness.
✦ Can you give examples of any negative phrases or words you say to yourself when you are not feeling motivated enough? "Why can't I get everything right?" "I'm tired living" "Why can't I have nicer things?"
✦ What are some positive affirmations that you can use in your everyday life? "Why am I so awesome the way I am?" "I have faith in me that I can manage it" "This too shall pass"
✦ According to you, what are the benefits of living life with an optimistic approach? It keeps me from getting depressed, and in turns, allows me to achieve greater things and help more people.
✦ Finally, how has this discussion helped you? It helped me to understand more about motivation. Thankies 