Forum Discussion: Motivation and Positive Self-Talk
Hello Everyone!
I am Tazzie, the Community Mentor Leader of the People of Color Support sub-community. I have written this discussion on Motivation and Positive Self-Talk, in hopes that it serves as an inspiration to you. I hope this information can be beneficial in your daily lives, as well as the lives of those around you.
✦ What is motivation?
Motivation is the general desire of someone wanting to act or behave in a particular way. Motivation can be intrinsic (comes from within) and extrinsic (dependent on external factors such as rewards, praises, money etc.)
✦ Why is motivation important?
Motivation is central to everything positive that we want to do in our lives. It is also very important for our self-esteem! Many times, you may feel motivated by external forces. For example, people around you may encourage you to start something new or begin moving in a positive direction. You might also be motivated by negative events and use them as a way to push yourself to work harder in order to achieve positive outcomes. However, what is more important is how you talk to yourself about the things that happen to you. How you talk to yourself matters. You are listening.
✦ Lets take a look at some of the reasons why we may feel demotivated:
Fear of Failure: Some people are raised in homes, where families have high expectations and perfectionistic attitudes. This inculcates the fear of making mistakes, in teens and children. This develops an inherent fear of failure, which then results in avoiding work and the fear then manifests in later stages of life as well.
Low self-esteem: People may have a low sense of self-esteem. They may feel incapable of attaining success. They will frequently self-sabotage.
Depression: Anhedonia or lack of interest in activities, is a common symptom of depression. People experiencing depression lose interest in activities they once found enjoyable.
Lack of interest: Some projects or tasks may seem uninteresting. This results in the lack of willingness to engage in these tasks. The attention diverts to something else instead and this affects grades or results in low performance.at work.
Procrastination: Procrastination occurs for several reasons. These include feeling anxious, feeling depressed, fear of failure and/or feeling overwhelmed.
Stress: Majority of our cognitive and emotional bandwidths are inhabited by stress. Sometimes, people feel overwhelmed and avoid deadlines.Lack of sleep due to stress can also make it difficult to keep ourselves motivated.
How do people generally talk to themselves when they are experiencing little to no motivation?
I am not ever good enough
I dont think I can accomplish this goal
I have never done this before so I dont think I can do it
I am a failure
We are often running on an autopilot mode and allowing our negative thoughts to bring about unnecessary distress in our lives. A negative thought diminishes your confidence and your ability to bring about positive changes in your life. It often leads to catastrophizing and self-blaming behavior.
Negative belief turns into a negative thought---negative thought turns into negative words--negative words change into negative actions--- negative actions turn into negative habits.
I hear you say But how do I stop this negative self-talk ?
✦ Catch yourself saying the thought, say it out loud, recognize that it is negative and counteract this thought with a positive one.
✦ Shift your perspective - Many times, negative thoughts stem from placing too great an emphasis on something. Stop and ask yourself How will this matter 5 years from now?
Examples:
I am not ever good enough.
I accept myself for who I am, I am imperfect but I have many wonderful qualities.
I dont think I can accomplish this goal.
I will work hard, use resources, seek help and complete this task to the best of my ability.
I have never done this before so I dont think I can do it.
This is an opportunity for me to do something new and learn from it."
I am a failure.
Its okay to make mistakes, mistakes are proof that I am trying.
A positive attitude when combined with actions, enables us to cope more easily with stressful situations and the daily challenges of life. One of the greatest benefits positive thinking can provide is better psychological, emotional and physical well-being.
Questions for Discussion:
✦ Why is intrinsic motivation important to you?
✦ What causes your lack of motivation?
✦ What emotions or feelings do you associate with the lack of motivation?
✦ Can you give examples of any negative phrases or words you say to yourself when you are not feeling motivated enough?
✦ What are some positive affirmations that you can use in your everyday life?
✦ According to you, what are the benefits of living life with an optimistic approach?
✦ Finally, how has this discussion helped you?
Please click >> HERE << to be added to our sub-communities taglist.
@Tazzie
There are times I feel super motivated and then it just disappears. I'm not sure what I want to really do in my life and it results in me not wanting to do things and I just end up doing things that brings me joy right now - without much thought about the future because I always tell myself "you're not going to be able to acomplish this anyways, so just do something else". This post was super helpful in helping me see stuff in a new light! Thank you
(First, I love this post and I'm glad I'm becoming more active within 7 Cups to be able to work with and use things like this because they really are helping now that I'm becoming more regular.)
✦ Why is intrinsic motivation important to you?
It feels better because I'm able to do things and feel really good about doing them and it feels even better once they are completed. It's keeps me going each day and excited to wake up in the morning.
✦ What causes your lack of motivation?
Depression has affected my motivation a lot lately, especially with not knowing what could happen tomorrow, a week or a month from now with COVID-19. I know knowing what's going to happen the next day and then the next is impossible anyways, but having this kinda come out of no where and stop the function of things I never imagined would be stopped as been difficult.
✦ What emotions or feelings do you associate with the lack of motivation?
When I lack the motivation, it's often because I feel like I don't have control over outcomes. What's the point of doing x if it won't make a difference or it won't change or cause something to happen? I think this way when it comes to things that I'm already scared or nervous about doing and their outcome and I try and avoid doing them to feel more control and safe, knowing I'm causing this outcome to be the case. Examples for when I do this would be with trying to make a new friend, starting a conversation with someone, etc. Social situations are a big struggle.
✦ Can you give examples of any negative phrases or words you say to yourself when you are not feeling motivated enough?
What's the point? This won't work out anyways. Just because you do this does not mean you will get the outcome you want. You might not only not get the outcome you want, but you could actually get the outcome you specifically do not want. If you do this, you are opening yourself to the opportunity of getting what you specifically do not want.
✦ What are some positive affirmations that you can use in your everyday life?
I am capable. I am worthy. I have what it is I need to get not only what I want, but what I need as well.
✦ According to you, what are the benefits of living life with an optimistic approach?
This is an interesting question because the first thing I thought was that a lot of people around me think that I have a pretty optimistic approach when it comes to the majority of things. People from the outside see me as positive and bubbly. And I would agree with this when it comes to being around others as I like being able to help people feel good and capable. But whenever people say this about me, I wince a little because that's not what happens in my head for the most part. People externally see me taking actions that are courageous, strong, mature and brave but when I'm making those decisions I don't feel any of those things. I seem to take actions that seem optimistic from the outside, but they don't feel like it after the fact or even in the moment. But I'm starting to realize that being able to choose myself in certain situations, specifically the ones where I'm second guessing and shaming myself a lot afterwards, is my way of optimistically living. I'm believing that there is better, so much so that I'm removing myself from less than ideal situations. Choosing myself, optimistically, has been difficult to sit with, but now that I look back I see that I'm able to inspire others in a way.
✦ Finally, how has this discussion helped you?
This discussion has helped me realize that I'm living more optimistically than I would like to realize. As I mentioned above, people see me as living opistimically and positively as I am actively making decisions and saying no to what I feel does not serve me instead of sitting in situations and complaining about them. But what my issue is now is sitting in my head after the fact, second-guessing the decisions I make. I want to say subconsciously I'm making optimistic choices, but the louder part of me is second-guessing everything soooo much. So now after working through this, I'm going to make it my goal to live optimistically not only by external actions, but internal thoughts and actions as well.
@greenteahelps
I really love your positive affirmations you use in your life, and I hope they can help you a little bit through this challenging time. It's also great to hear that although it is difficult, you have been and are still continuing to choose yourself, positively, and are helping to encourage others. Your goal of living optimistically through external and internal thoughts/actions is a very good one, and I wish you all the best with that and everything else! Thank you for sharing!