A Special Check-In Thread
Hey. How's everyone? Bad? Good? Numb? It's ok. Your feelings are valid. Your experiences are valid. I know things may be hard now but I know you'll find a way out soon. I know you're stronger than your depression.
So..... How's life? Well it's ok if you don't wanna talk about it. I will be here besides you if you would love to tell more. If you ask me what is the point of telling us your stories, well you know, I don't have any answers for that unfortunately. But I want you to know that, whatever it is, at least for me, it's worth to be listened to. Even if you think it'll never make you any better, I feel lucky to be here with you through all this thing. Maybe I couldn't make things any better for you but I hope this small gestures of mine could help it better even if it's just a small bit.
It's ok to cry. It's ok to grief. It's ok to be vulnerable. You have gone through so much. I'm sorry that I couldn't take away any of your pain. I'm sorry I couldn't do nothing much about it. I want you to know, even if you're at your worst right now, you're not weak. I'm amazed by how far you've survived all the odds in your life. I know you don't deserve any of this pain and suffering.
"How can you be so confident and optimistic about this? You don't even understand or know what I've been through," Well I don't know. I don't even know how I can be optimistic and confident about all of these. I just thought that I'm an expert about faking everything. I just say that because I would love for someone to say those things to me during my times. I want to spread some senses of hope and positivity even though it always turned to be false but I still hope for the best. I may not understand everything in your life but I am curious what you've gone through and I want to support you with best support I could provide.
"But other people have it worse than I am. I deserve all of these" I hear you. I want to know that even if it's just a tiny or small petty problems it still matters and valid. Differences in our depressions and experiences doesn't make our worth and our presence in here less important. You matter, important and precious just like everyone else. If you think you deserve all of these, do you think straying animals which get treated poorly, deserve all the pain and suffering they got from this world? I'll leave it to your thoughts about that.
"Why do you even care about me?" Well I'm sorry, It's my fault for being stubborn for loving and caring other people more than I love and care about myself. Maybe it's because I don't want others to go through what I've been through and for sure I just want to spread some loves for you. Although it's temporary, you still deserve loves, appreciation and care.
There are so many beautiful things that awaits you. Maybe you feel hopeless and helpless now but I'll continue to spread helps and hopes as much as I could. If you feel like giving up, Please take rests for a while and take care of yourself at the moment. You deserve kindness from yourself too. Slow down and let's take a breather outside for a while. Small steps are fine and I know you can do it. Please reach out to crisis hotlines or crisis resources if you feel like you need it.
This depression doesn't make you any weaker. You've outgrown your past self and you're stronger now. We care about you. You can overcome this. Go at your own pace. Slow and steady wins the race. Thanks for reading :) I hope your days will turn out to be better after this.
@kdsyahirah
My depression is still here, that said, I am currently learning how to cope with it in a healthy manner. Though I know it's not going to take overnight, I am
1. I talking to a counselor and going to a chiropractor who uses eastern medicine to treat the depression
2. I am exercising three days a week
3. I am in the process of changing my eating habits
As for how I am feelings, though I have more energy than I have had in a while, I still have places and people that are triggering sadness right now. I am also angry because people tend to look at me as a person with a disability they can put into a box. As a result they disrespect me.
It sounds like you are really taking some good steps forward. You are allowed to get angry at those who don't understand or disrespect you. That must be so frustrating. The key is to let those moments of darkness not cloud the light. You are doing that. @Summershy
@bestVase7265
Thank you for your kind feedback. My problem is that I tend to hold onto the negative actions and words that are said by other people and sometimes years. I also have the tendency to get stuck in a loop about who was mean to me. Everyday, I often feel angry at them all over again and I allow myself to do so, even if there are other stress factors.
Regardless, I recently started keeping a journal so I am can get my feelings down without going into what these people did and said that were hurtful and made me angry. Instead, I talk about how I am feeling in the moment while also beginning to understand why these people treated me the way they did,
For instance, I just found out that it sounds like one mother and daughter, who I had been having problems with, tend to be self-absorbed people who are very toxic and stuck on themselves. They also tend to pick other people apart, even their own family members.
@kdsyahirah
It's so cool that there are these forums for this but
TW:VENT (religious trauma, transphobia)
Its saturday, my parents are 7th day adventists and I hate it, they want me partake in something that is literally why they refuse to give me they love I require.
I am so sorry that they cannot seem to see the real you. It sounds like you are an awesome person. @Rom3
Hey there.
I've been helping my mother quit smoking because she has COPD. She made it to 32 days as of today, and I wanted to speak to her today to give her a little more praise for her hard work and shoot the breeze since its a weekend.
And then my mother revealed that she's been smoking pot while quitting the cigarettes and I felt so disappointed but I couldn't reveal that to her at all. I didn't want to give her an excuse to start smoking weed more often or even go back to smoking cigarettes, so I began to gently remind her that she had to consider her lungs. That she should focus on taking her meds and her inhalers, and maybe just try to redirect her attention from smoking weed just like she did from the cigarettes.
But she's really unwilling to even address it. She's insisting that smoking "only a little" when she's stressed or anxious isn't going to hurt her and that I shouldn't worry about it or make her talk about it, period.
I backed off and quit suggesting that she pay attention to her triggers that cause her to smoke and instead suggested that she ask her doctor for suggestions during her next appointment, then changed the subject to something else.
I promised her that I would text tomorrow since that's what I've been doing since she told me about the diagnosis. This news about the pot smoking shouldn't surprise me since I worried from the start that she would backslide and not say anything to me about it until later. I can only continue forwards and keep trying to help her.
But I'm still sad, guys.
You are supposed to be sad and disappointed. I would be if I were you. But you handled the situation really well. It would be so nice to get people to make the right medical decisions for themselves, but they don't. You are doing everything that you can. @integrityblues
@bestVase7265
Thanks bestVase. You're really kind.
I'm becoming more concerned with some of the things she mentioned during our call. Like when I mentioned that she could just ask her doctor how she could stop smoking weed while taking the meds and she immediately started talking about how she wasn't going to be doing any tests. That she'd already refused to get a biopsy, most likely from her lung.
So now I'm staying up and prepping for NaNo to take my mind off things.
Does anyone else have a person in their life that is their only reason to keep going? My best friend of 8 years is that person to me, if i never met her i don't know where I would be today... Maybe at the bottom of a cliff...
There are many people like that who we are blessed with at different points in our lives. It is good to remind ourselves though that we are also that kind of blessing to other people. @AnonymousCupcake96
I can’t find words anymore. It’s like the lights are gone. It’s taking me minutes to find these words.
This hospital isn’t a nice place. I’m here for a while according to the state. They give me so many pills. But my head still tells me to be dead.
nurses are mean to me. They tie me down and leave me. Not nice. Don’t like it here. Very sad.
Know that you aren't forgotten out here. I think about you often and wonder how you are doing. I can imagine how hard everything is right now. Sending strength.@Server8462
Lately, I’ve been really having a hard time. I lost almost all of my friends during covid and just have been feeling really lonely. As cliche as it sounds, I feel like I am missing out on being a teenager. I just go to school and work. I talk to a couple of people in my classes, but I really don’t have anyone I’m close with. I have to always plan out my school schedule to avoid staying for lunch as I literally have no one. I’m in grade 12 and it is supposed to be a fun year, but it’s a struggle every day. On one hand, I know I don’t deserve to be unhappy all of the time, but on the other hand, I feel that I’m not good enough to be happy anymore. I’ve never really struggled with loneliness so I don’t know how to cope with this well. I hope this passes and I make new friends in university, but it is really hard now.
There are so many people in your position right now. You did deserve a better senior year and it is understandable to be upset that you didn't get your dream year. But you are doing well in trying to work with what you have. Do your best to find fun where you can. Things may get easier as the year goes along. @Kayla29484
Thank you!!
Keep us updated on how you are doing. There are better moments ahead! @Kayla29484
Have anyone else felt like there's nothing wrong really but you just don't feel right
Yes, sometimes the brain chemicals do things all on their own.@sshinyy
Wow. How heartfelt is that. I am a listener on the forum and I was shocked that someone could articulate everything I felt about reaching out to people. Some people may not understand that there are people who want to reduce the suffering in the world by that wee bit even when there is nothing in it for them except the very joy of reducing the suffering.
Though it is not a reason to be compassionate I have noticed that developing compassion for others ended up bringinb joy in my life.
Thank you for such a warm post. Restores faith in humanity.
Me too. Helping others is key to healing yourself. Glad that things are going well. @fantasticPower9685
Lately I have been feeling like nothing I do makes me happy. Like I really like studying and exercising but once I'm done with it it's just feels the same. I don't know if that makes sense. And like I watch movies and stuff but I feel like they're not doing much for me. But I know I can keep going on. It's just that I don't see what for
It makes perfect sense. My depression felt the same way. Two mini things that might help - trying some new activities on a regular basis to see if other things provide more relief and trying not to let your brain dismiss those moments that were okay. The key isn't that you immediately fell back into feeling bad. The focus point is that you felt okay for a few minutes to begin with. @sshinyy