Check-in, Depression Support, 19 to 25 of September, 2022
I hope and wish you are doing very well.
- How have you been feeling these days?
- What do your "dark places" look like?
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How do you move from a dark place toward a brighter one?
- What do these brighter places look like?
- What can you do to stay longer in a bright place?
All questions are optional. You can add any comments you wish, as they come to your mind.
I look forward to your answers!
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How have you been feeling these days?
Not very great. I got my COVID booster on Friday and I've been dealing with the side-effects all weekend. Its not over yet as I can still feel the swelling near my armpit because that's where the lymph node is. In addition to that, I got my period on Sunday when the discomfort from the swelling and stiffness of my arm was hard to ignore. So the COVID booster and my period are going head to head, seeing which one can upset me more.
I've just been feeling lousy.
What do your "dark places" look like?
It's just been masses of unwashed dishes. Fruit flies in the kitchen because of the unwashed dishes, leading me to make a DIY trap out of apple cider vinegar and dish soap. All my laundry on the ground in sorted piles because I keep telling myself I'll do more of it but haven't. Well, except for when I needed to do a load of underwear on Friday, whether I felt good after my COVID booster or not.
Lately I've been feeling like lots of things are pointless. Like yesterday I really wanted to write, but ended up stopping myself because it didn't really matter- that no one really cared about that and it wasn't like writing fanfiction was important. Then I thought of writing a blog about how my writing didn't really matter, then stopped myself because it was whiny and stupid. It just reeked of me wanting attention.
How do you move from a dark place toward a brighter one?
Not sure. My first thoughts are usually to move my attention away from what is taking me to that dark place or those feelings. I usually do chores or read books, but I'm just not feeling it.
What do these brighter places look like?
Not sure. Maybe its when I reach a point where I don't keep blaming myself for things I can't control, but also push on forwards with the things I have to do anyway since I can't not do them. No one is going to do my laundry or other chores for me.
What can you do to stay longer in a bright place?
Be honest with myself, maybe. Understand that when I'm feeling like trash it doesn't always mean I am trash.
You are allowed to have rougher days that feel pretty pointless. But your writing is never pointless. You will find your way back when your brain is able to do it. @integrityblues
@integrityblues Been feeling reakky stressed
@CrawlingFlowers
I'm sorry to hear about that.
@integrityblues Thats really hard. i hope you feel better soon
@HealingTalk
Hi, Talk,
- How have you been feeling these days? calm at times, stressed at times, disgusted at other times, and triumphant at other times.
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What do your "dark places" look like? out of control sometimes, and just deeply down and crying other times
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How do you move from a dark place toward a brighter one? sleep, taking my psychiatric prescriptions
- What do these brighter places look like? calm and with a smile sometimes
- What can you do to stay longer in a bright place? I don't know yet.
It sounds like you are on quite the roller coaster, but it is nice to see some good emotions in there. @purpleTree4652
I’ve been feeling lonely. I’m tired. Exhausted. Not physically tho, mentally. I have friends and family yet I don’t have anyone that would be with me through the hard times. I cry alone silently but I would love to have a friend comfort me while I cry. At the same time, I feel embarrassed since I’ve never cried in front of anyone unless it’s because of a sad movie. I want to cry so bad but I’d be criticized if I did. I want to lean on someone but I don’t have anyone to lean on. I’m so tired. But I can get through it. I always do. Maybe I’m just being dramatic
You aren't being dramatic. All of the mental health stuff can be really hard sometimes. You do deserve to have a good cry with someone. They might not react as poorly as you think they would. Who would you most like to call on to talk and cry some?@quietOak3990
@HealingTalk
- How have you been feeling these days? Beginning to feel a lot better.
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What do your "dark places" look like? My dark places are very scary and creepy. Like a dark pit that I fall into with no ladder to climb out of or like walking into a pit of quicksand. The more I struggle to get out the deeper I go.
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How do you move from a dark place toward a brighter one? For me, it is often hard to find a way out once I have fallen in, but I try to analyze the problem and I begin to strategize a solution, Trial and error.
- What do these brighter places look like? The sun is shining and the birds are singing and I got a song in my heart.
e - What can you do to stay longer in a bright place? Seclude myself.😂
@scarletPear1945
Hello!
Nice to see you again!
Thank you for coming here!
I am glad that you are starting to feel much better than in recent times.
Your description of dark places feels like the perfect description of what is like to be in a dark place. Those dark pits that seem impossible to escape, and eternal.
It is great that once you have fallen into such a hole, you stay proactive, looking for solutions, and don't just abandon yourself to hopelessness.
The image of your bright place is beautiful. Very vivid. You might practice intentional visualization with it.
You seem to enjoy peace and quiet in solitude.
Solitude is not the same as loneliness. Solitude is intentional. It shows you are strong and self-reliant and cultivates this strength even further.
You feel in control of your life, think deep inside, and rest from the stressors that haunt you in the outside world.
All of these help you have better relations with people, from a place of strength, clarity and balance, when you get out of your seclusion.
Congratulations on your wise coping skills!
Thank you again for coming here!
All the best!
Marcelo.
@HealingTalk
I love the thought-provoking questions and your replies, You are a deep thinker.
Thanks for the check in❤️😊
@scarletPear1945
Oh, thank you so much!
You are welcome! ❤️
I have been feeling very down and lonely, and I feel drained and guilty that I’m not working on my goals properly. I’m back to survival mode where I just sleep eat and try to get some sun but I feel no enjoyment of life.
my dark places are nightmares, people laughing at me, dark alleys where I’m alone and being followed, feeling left out, being a failure
i love trough reading, conversation, inner awareness and connnecting with nature and friends
the brighter places look full of possibilities, smiles, fun, calm, warmth, creativity
I can stay there by doing the things I love and healing my inner child
I am sorry that things have been rough lately. Sometimes it can be really hard to work on goals and you have to cut yourself some slack (that should be a goal too). Sending peace. @bluemoonlight
I don’t have any answers to the question because I don’t know. I know my sons ALWAYS put a real genuine smile on my face but those or short small moments. Any other time it’s a facade. I feel like I’m drowning in an angry, unpredictable ocean with cinder blocks tired to my feet. No matter how hard I try to get to the surface and catch my breath the waves and weight just pulls me down. Into an ocean made from my own tears. I cry everyday for most of the day. Im alone and no matter how I try to get across how bad my depression is it’s written off because it’s postpartum. My feelings have been completely written off by everyone I love and myself. Because it’s just postpartum right? And I’ll get past this just like everyone else. I’ll be ok I just have to tough it out to that 6 month mark when all that goes away…. Right?…..
I don’t know how much longer I can keep going on like this. I can’t afford therapy……
Postpartum depression can be serious. Who are you telling about your symptoms? You do deserve to feel better. @plumPear5618
I’ve been really struggling not sure what to do.
Do you want to tell us a little more?@CrimsonJae
Ive been getting a lot of triggers lately and I keep having flashbacks and nightmares from when I was sexually assaulted and abused.
Are you able to talk to anyone? @CrimsonJae
Not really. Don’t know the right people to talk to.
Is some therapy a possibility? It can really help to manage things.@CrimsonJae
I wouldn’t even know where to begin. And I’m not able to really pay for therapy not for money reasons but because of work wise and having a work account not a personal one. If that makes sense.
Yes, of course it does. It can be hard to find someone to work with. But you do deserve some help in processing things. Going it alone can be even tougher than finding someone. You could start out with your regular doctor who might have some suggestions. @CrimsonJae
My doctors don’t care and the only thing they want to do is put me on medication
Medication can be half of the battle so it might be worth exploring at least as a starting point. With trauma, your brain chemicals can become unbalanced. It can take a lot of trial and error to find the right one, but it can really help to start healing. @CrimsonJae
I’m not able to take medication because of allergic reactions that are to the point I’m hospitalized for a few days
That does sound frustrating. Maybe a new doctor is in order. I'd explain that you need therapy advice rather than medication advice.
I totally get how hard it can be to find the right help. But better help is out there. @CrimsonJae
What makes it harder for me is not having very much support or finding the right professional that knows how to work with anxiety, depression, PTSD, ADHD, bipolar all at the same time.
I can imagine that is hard. But people like that are out there. And even if you are only dealing with part of it at a time, it is better than nothing. 1% better is better than 0%. Each mini-improvement is a victory. @CrimsonJae
Just something I have been contemplating today:
Some people will never be able to provide you (me) with the emotional support that you need to overcome depression and anxiety. This is very hard especially if it's a close friend or relative. It can drive you crazy 'just wanting to talk' but the person that you are supposedly the closest to will not talk to you. For decades, I have taken this offensively, but I suppose it's possible that 'silent treatment' is not intentional. Maybe it is just the person's personality. Either way, the hurt is still there and it makes the depression and anxiety worse.
Living in a silent relationship is not easy---and it's definitely made my depression worse. I believe the solution is just focusing on my own satisfaction/happiness, recovery, mental health, and goals, but that is not always easy. Often, I think we know what we want/need to do, but we cannot get there. It's been a long year of re-living the same day over and over. I am hoping to make small improvements starting with lowering my expectations and realizing that some people will never be there for you in the way that you want/need. It's sad, but it's also reality.
Emotional support/connection is one of the keys to overcoming depression. I am going to work on 'not' reaching out for support to those I know cannot/will not provide support or meaningful conversation. This is not easy, but maybe compartmentalizing my relationship a bit and not expecting one person to provide "everything" would be beneficial to my mental health and recovery. 😌
I agree, @Olive1Q82 that cultivating self-reliance, and diversifying your support network will help much.
Some people are incapable of providing all the support we need.
If we decide to stay close to them, we should acknowledge that, and look for support somewhere else.
I wish you all the best in your healing path!
See you soon.
Marcelo.
@HealingTalk
I’ve been feeling alone, unworthy, angry, sad, stupid and all things coupled when you’re or were in a toxic, abusive relationship. My dark places look like the relationship I finally left today. I thought leaving would be hard, but I realized it’s the wanting to stay gone. I don’t know how I can still love this man after everything he has said and done and continue to say through text to me. I move from this dark place one day at a time. It’s not gonna be an easy battle, but I think I’m strong enough. Maybe? I don’t know, but I took my first step today and I just need to keep on walking. I need to remind myself of all things that make me happy, the people and the things I loved doing. My brighter place is me being the old me. Being happy and smiling and loving and caring; not someone who is angry and sad all the time. Unfortunately, I believe it’s not going to happen because he scarred me and broke me down. I allowed it. I should’ve left immediately but I thought he loved me the same way I loved him. I was mistaken. I need to remember all the bad times and of all the trauma I went through because if I can remember that and not have false hope he’d change and our relationship would be better, the longer I walk away and the further I get from him and the memory of our relationship.
Jacqueline Sloane
@jcqlinshots
Dear Jacqueline:
I feel very proud of you that you took this step.
Many people can't do it, unfortunately, and they stay forever in a toxic environment.
You were strong enough to take the hardest step. So you will have the strength to keep moving forward.
And at the core, you are still yourself.
A toxic relationship can be so overwhelming, intensely and continuously hurting, that just being away from it will be a huge relief.
Maybe happiness is too high a goal right now, but getting some calm and peace, and a sense of control over your life, will be an amazing feeling.
Also, cultivating your true self and identity, that might have been buried under so much toxic rubble.
For example, you will have more time to meet with friends without feeling controlled, to engage in hobbies and self-care without feeling despised, etc.
A whole world of opportunities is open to you now.
Cultivating your true self and a strong sense of your identity, will make you more self-reliant, and help prevent falling back into the same trap.
There are many resources in 7 Cups to support you in this, whenever you feel the need.
I wish you all the luck in the world on your journey.
All the best!
Marcelo
@HealingTalk
I got the book from Audible and will use it this weekend to read or listen to the book. Thanks
@scarletPear1945
How nice!
I hope you enjoy the book.
Audible is great!