Can't get over my daughter being adopted.
I lost my daughter to adoption after being in an abusive relationship in which my ex told the social services it was me abusing her. I tried all I could to get my daughter out of care and failed. Everyday is a struggle as I blame myself. I am socially awkward and have anxiety talking to anyone including family and friends. I have become a shadow of myself and stay in my room when returning from work and always avoid conversation with people. I have broken up from my recent girlfriend over arguing as I'm still a mess. I need help to try change my feelings. I have days where I have a good day and feel guilty as i only gave good days when i try not think about the past. I want to remember my child and think about her but not fall apart everytine I do. My ex girlfriend who was abusive and the child's mum is pregnant with another guys baby and she is getting tockeep the child which is killing me more as I was abused and lost my child due to her lying and saying it was me. Any advice would be amazing as I am struggling to keep myself together and I don't see a way I can get my life back on track.
@Jordyboy94
Hey there. I am sorry to hear about what happened to you and your child. It sounds like you have gone through a lot of trauma, with being abused and losing your child. I can understand how you would be feeling the way that you feel. I don't want to assume the laws or how adoption works in your area, but can you give me a bit more information about the adoption? It seems like a horrible violation of your rights to not give you the chance to fight for the custody of your child. Have you thought of getting a lawyer to help you?
@HopieRemi
they gave my assessments and I went to court for over a year but no matter what I did the outcome was that I was just an busive partner and they feared my daughter would be in danger. I tried several times to shoe it wasn't me being the abused with photo evidence of my injuries and calls to the police. However they just stated that it was me because my ex partner used to call the police and say it was me being abusive to her and she acted in self defence. So I was arrested several times despite me being the one being beaten up
@Jordyboy94
I am sorry to hear that. From your username, I assume you're a man. It can be challenging when the system sees your gender and automatically assumes you're the offender. It sounds like you were guilty from the start and nothing would have changed their prejudical assumptions there. It still is very challenging for you to have to go through this and I can't imagine the pain your child is in by being separated from you. Do you know where your child ended up? How old is the child; could the kid testify in your defense?
@HopieRemi my child was taken into care from birth so I only had contact visits. She is only 2. I am a man yes and I remember once stating a policeman that I was assaulted and their response was "she's a lot smaller than you there's no way she'd do that". Since then I gave up hope of reaching out for help. I was arrested so many times without evidence or proof and she'd say she did it to teach me a lesson. She knew I had to stay as she threatened to take go to social services and lie and say she wanted to have the child alone. With the police records showing she called them loads she had this against me so I had no chance. She left in August 2019 and didn't want anything to with the child however when she was informed I was being assessed she did everything she could to prevent me having the child.
@Jordyboy94
That sounds like a lot. I am sorry that happened to you. It's understandable that you are feeling the way you are right now. The only thing that is going to help is time and hopefully you are able to figure something out.
@HopieRemi with due respect every avenue to getting my daughter back was crossed and it wasn't enough. Its been a year now and I know I cannot get her back in anyway. Its my emotional and mental state that I now need to try rebuild. But everyday is hard and I feel I'm getting no where. My current on off partner is pregnant and we broke up due to all this hitting me worse after finding out she's pregnant. I'm happy of course but the pain from losing a child hurts too. Like I'm so excited and getting all these baby things but st the same time I'm in regret mode and sad and angry at myself as my daughter is adopted with strangers and I'm here playing happy families. I will give my newborn the best life of course but I will always feel hurt inside and will never ever recover. However I know I can't live that way. If that makes sense