Crying.

@Idontbelongtothisplanet 

I cried when i was admitted in the ER just a few days ago. That needle 💉 was really painful 😖. Before that i cried like a few months ago when my father was diagnosed with colon cancer. :)

@Idontbelongtothisplanet

Evenings r difficult. Easy to be sad over my life.

Last time I cried was yesterday and two days ago as well because I left my job recently I felt as I were doing the most than what my job was already was but constantly, then I’m taking this month for me because I’m on a new whole path of becoming better me where I don’t need to feel the need to find someone to love right away when it seems like I always mess up while this giving me time to learn but most importantly to see if I do even want to come back when this month is over meaning I logged out of everything for the sake of me.

I don't cry when something bad happens to me. I cry when something good happens to me. I didn't cry for months

@Idontbelongtothisplanet I would say a solid year ago and I know some day something going to happen and I can let it all out but I don’t really know how to identify emotions so that’s kinda a problem 

I cried a few days ago after a really bad argument with my best friend.

@Idontbelongtothisplanet probably last week, I was watching this commentary about a show and they spoke about how being ordinary is not desirable and people always try to want more and be more. And I just went down a spiral about normalcy and how easy it is to be so. I thought of every time someone is shunned into the background because they have nothing to share or entertain or joke about. It takes so much effort to be even the slightest bit of interesting (at least for me; I know plenty a people who are just so charming) Although the heart wants to be liked and noticed, it only begs for one question: what is there to notice? Do you have it in you to be asked about, to be talked to, to have someone say “oh I had this interesting convo with that person”? If not, then does ordinary make any difference? If it makes a difference, is it ordinary? Then the whole thing just became sad because we miss out on so many ‘ordinary’ people who are beyond extraordinary.

Tonight, but it was a weird cry. I just sob once or twice and it devolves into almost hysterical laughing. I’ve been so depressed lately that I think it was honestly me laughing at myself. A part of me doesn’t even believe I have depression or trauma but I’m actively living in an environment that makes my mental illness rot me from the inside out. I’m tired, I want to cry. I want to be taken seriously. I want to be cared for. I miss my mother’s unconditional love. I wish I could stand up for myself, I wish I could cry.

The last time I cried… yesterday night. The why is but saddening and it’s because no matter what I do it's never enough for people. 

I’m 24 and expecting my first baby, and my boyfriend has 3 kids, about a week ago we had an argument, and told me that I’m not being motherly enough to his 3 kids.

I took it personally since he had them for the entire month of July and the only time he spent with them was after work. He spends roughly 3-5 hours checking up on them and because he's tired from work he gets irritated when his kids are bugging him.

I on the other hand I am up with them the moment they wake up which is usually when their dad goes off to work. I cook for them, I watch shows with them… and I get told I’m not doing enough… it was incredibly triggering to hear him say that… I didn't cry when he told me that but I took it to heart… and it's been bugging me and eating me up inside for the past two weeks.

@Idontbelongtothisplanet was when my sporting idol Lewis Hamilton finally came 1st in a race(he's a racing driver) for the first time in many years, i cried for about 30-40 mins straight as soon as it ended.. ome of the greatest and most enjoyable moments kf my whole life