I worked my entire life for one dream, and the system just crushed it. I don't know what to do.
I'm an 18-year-old international student and I just graduated high school. My entire life, my one dream was to study Computer Science in the USA and build a career in Silicon Valley. I studied so hard. I gave everything.
And it actually worked, I got a full tuition waiver scholarship. I earned it.
But I was still rejected for a visa. Not because of anything I did wrong. Just because of where I was born and the current political climate making it nearly impossible for international students like me.
I come from a middle class family. My parents have saved €15,000, that's everything they have, and it's a one-time amount. There's no backup plan. There's no "try again next year." This was it.
I don't even know what I'm feeling right now. Angry? Devastated? Numb? All of it at once.
Has anyone else been through something like this? How did you keep going? How do you rebuild a dream when the door gets slammed in your face through no fault of your own?
I just needed to say this somewhere. Please, if anyone understands talk to me.
@fairmindedRaspberries9472
Chào bạn, mình thực sự lặng người khi đọc những gì bạn vừa chia sẻ. Cảm giác bao nhiêu năm nỗ lực, dốc hết tâm huyết và đã chạm tay được vào học bổng mơ ước, để rồi bị tước bỏ chỉ vì một lý do nằm ngoài tầm kiểm soát như visa... điều đó thực sự quá tàn nhẫn và bất công.
Việc bạn thấy tức giận, tuyệt vọng và tê liệt lúc này là phản ứng hoàn toàn tự nhiên. Bạn có quyền cảm thấy như vậy sau khi đã chiến đấu hết mình cho ước mơ đó. Không phải lỗi của bạn, và cũng không phải do năng lực của bạn — bạn đã chứng minh mình xứng đáng bằng tấm học bổng đó rồi.
Lúc này, có lẽ không lời an ủi nào là đủ, nhưng mình muốn bạn biết rằng mình đang ở đây để cùng bạn gánh vác sự im lặng và nỗi đau này. Bạn không đơn độc trong sự bế tắc này đâu. Bạn có muốn chia sẻ thêm về việc gia đình bạn đang phản ứng thế nào, hay bạn đang phải đối mặt với những suy nghĩ gì trong đầu ngay lúc này không?
I can hear how frustrated and disappointed you are with yourself right now. Spending $50 on something that doesn't feel worth it is a tough pill to swallow, especially when the location sounds less than ideal. It’s completely understandable to feel like you've made a mistake.
However, I also see that you did this because you value your friendships and want to be there with them. That shows you're a loyal friend! Even if the garden isn't the 'grand' ballroom you expected, the memories with your friends are often what we remember most, long after we forget the venue.
Since you can't reverse the choice, what is one small thing you're actually looking forward to doing with your friends that night, despite the location?
i feel the same way, the frustration of not being able to get your dream even when you've tried your very hardest, your blood sweat and tears to get what you want and you succeeded for achieving that scholarship. that's no small feat, it's amazing. i hope that there are any more possible ways you can look at for your visa or study local then advance to abroad later. dreams never die, so is your spirit. you commenting here and asking for support also means that determination in you is there. all the best, if you need somebody to talk to i am always here. i may not have a clear cut answer but i do pray and hope everything goes as smooth sailing
@blackcat311 My biggest mistake was attending a US visa interview during the Trump administration. I am from a third-world country, which is why I tried so hard to build a better life. My parents insisted that I complete my education in Bangladesh and get a job here, but my dreams were bigger.
Everything was ruined on March 29. Now I have only one chance left, which is why I applied to Finland. I will not receive any scholarship since their scholarships are limited.
My parents can provide me with only €20,000. From this, I will pay my first-year tuition, which is €10,000, along with six months of living expenses in Finland, as well as the air ticket and visa fees.
However, it seems impossible to find a job in Finland due to the job crisis. I don’t know how to overcome this. How will I pay the next year’s tuition? What will I do?
I am ready to do any kind of work, but it still feels impossible because of the job crisis. I feel like I am dying inside, but I don’t want to give up. I just want to make my hardworking parents happy.
I even made a desperate attempt to get married to an older European woman, which I now realize was wrong.
I truly don’t know what to do. If possible can we connect through social media? WhatsApp?
@fairmindedRaspberries9472
I can imagine how hurtful it is. It is so unfair. It is so understandable to feel devastated. It is natural. I am so glad that you are reaching for support. I believe it is so much better to not be alone in moments like this.
You might not get to benefit of the scholarship you earned, but you can still benefit from who you became in the process. The hard work have build you. You still have the character, the knowledge and the skills. You didn't fail. The reality did.
For what it is worth it is OK to update the dream about the Software Development in Silicon Valley. I don't know what will happen over the next few years, but the golden time of being an SDE for big corporates in US seems to be over. The layoffs, the replacing people with AI, the outsourcing work abroad, the growing pressure to generate most of your code with AI. I might be wrong but it might be a good time to be in a place where the work from US or bigger EU countries is being outsourced to.
What if, when you feel strong enough, you ask yourself "What else can I do with what I have? Any other country options?" You have been strong getting here. What if you are able to create a new great plan?
@pinkCherry1616 My biggest mistake was attending a US visa interview during the Trump administration. I am from a third-world country, which is why I tried so hard to build a better life. My parents insisted that I complete my education in Bangladesh and get a job here, but my dreams were bigger. Everything was ruined on March 29. Now I have only one chance left, which is why I applied to Finland. I will not receive any scholarship since their scholarships are limited. My parents can provide me with only €20,000. From this, I will pay my first-year tuition, which is €10,000, along with six months of living expenses in Finland, as well as the air ticket and visa fees. However, it seems impossible to find a job in Finland due to the job crisis. I don’t know how to overcome this. How will I pay the next year’s tuition? What will I do? I am ready to do any kind of work, but it still feels impossible because of the job crisis. I feel like I am dying inside, but I don’t want to give up. I just want to make my hardworking parents happy. I even made a desperate attempt to get married to an older European woman, which I now realize was wrong. I truly don’t know what to do. If possible can we connect through social media? WhatsApp?
You can ping me 1:1 here through chat
Your identity has been destroyed. I did physics i went to Africa and lost interest in physics i was studying more than anyone else but not physics.
I had suicidal feelings as a child and I had decided to study so had put great effort in. When I was not studying as I planned my ego died. I had been the intelligent one everyone expected great things from not my parents, they were more sane, but teachers and other students. From the way i wrote the sentence the emotion that came back would be obvious.
Now rather than treating me as if I was great I was now a failure. My mum treated me differently. My former doctor friend had same issue.
Your obviously very clever so I will give you a concept normally only old use. You don’t have a hard dream you work with a supposition of states you don’t grasp certainty. Children prefer things to go wrong than not to have certainty. It takes a-lot of practice to do, you’re competitive which is natural one day you may desire mutual mastery. For now understand living with uncertainty is very difficult.
I don’t like men in a relationship sense but spirit hugs from a middle-aged man to a someone who just became a man.