What do you hate about yourself?
Depression is bizarre in how in alters the way we think. We may know logically that it is our depression making us think this way but knowing that doesn't invalidate it. So write down what exactly you hate about yourself, let it all out. Once you do look back at what you wrote. Hopefully documenting your thought process will make it easier to work through your issues. Plus we will all be here to help.
those days that i'm broken and weak
I hate how I look, more than how I am. I hate that I need to work extra hard to look femine, because of so many years being called "boyish girl" or "manly". I hate my body because its features make me disgusted with myself and I don't look womenly. I hate my chubby face, big thighs, large shoulders, thick ankles, flat chest. I hate my teeth for being uneven in the front and yellow - from years of forgetting my own needs. I hate my unstable personality, with its ups and downs - actually more downs. I hate my many fears and anxieties. I hate how having been on psychiatrist hospital defined my personality. I hate my voice, laugh and smile. I hate my need to always be kind, generous and altruistic - I hate how I need to be perfect without knowing what 'perfect' actually means. And most of all:
I hate my unability to hate anyone else besides myself.
@givemecoffee
I have a weird need to talk to ppl-be around ppl, & I'm always polite, kind, & altruistic.
I've been alone almost my whole life, so of course I've felt invisible my whole life, so when i talk it's always too loud, coarse, crude..
When i get angry i say the meanest, cruelest thing i can think of to the unfortunate soul who pissed me off.
THAT'S the thing i hate most about myself.
My big nasty mouth
@cosmicjellyfishqueen
My inability to not get too emotionally invested and hvae people not take me for granted.
That i wasted my entire life immersed in a life that i never should have lived.
Nothing and everything.
EVERYTHING
my face, my body, my voice, my personality
I hate how different i am from everyone else. I hate how i dont fit in. I hate how useless i am. I hate what i am doing with my life.
To counter this hate with love, i would say that i am probably fine, i am not different from everyone else. There is a place for me in the world. There are things i am meant to do (i am not useless). I am going through a rough phase in my life.
I hate how I'm so stupid. I'm ugly. I'm unwanted. I try changing myself to be wanted by one person but she doesn't even talk to me anymore all because I said one wrong thing but it wasn't even wrong she just hates me. I don't eat for days to lose weight and stay as skinny as I can I work myself to death trying to look fit and keep a body for people cause that's the only way people talk to me. I always ask myself what's wrong with me....why do people leave me so often. No one stays in my life....everyone leaves..I downloaded this app to get some help and maybe find friends but I always think everything I do won't work...everything I do is stupid and worthless just like me. I'm sorry if I went off topic but....I just need some help...and I'm kind of new at this and this is the first time I've ever written anything on this app....I'm sorry
@MiguelRamirez
Hello. First off, Welcome @MiguelRamirez! I am also a newbie here just started really using the site about 3 weeks ago.
You mentioned something in your post about everyone leaving you? I understand that-maybe not in the same manner you have meant it, but I used to ask myself all the time this same question. Then it would lead to: 'why am I not good enough?' what is wrong with me? and the list just keeps going. What I realized was it wasn't that people were "Leaving Me" but I was internalizing how they behaved and thinking that there choices/decisions to act or "leave" was because of "ME". What I found out (through many years of help) was I could no longer internalize what someone else did, That was their choice. It wasn't something I did. I could not Physically in any manner take someone and put them outside my existence. And if I did then that was a choice I made. So what I guess I am trying to say is there is nothing you did! Living in guilt and shame for your own actions is hard enough, You don't have to live in guilt and shame for others. Let them carry their own weight. :). At least that is how I have begun to look at things so not sure if it helps but just know never feel sorry for sharing and I am listening. You should give yourself some credit- you are on a site seeking some type of support that is a smart thing and hard for many. So I see those strengths in you and have never even met you!
@funnyCup1511 thank you... Your reply really helped me with what I'm going through right now. I am brand new to the site but I would love to chat if you want to message me. Thanks again for what you said, though it wasnt directed at me it still helped :)
@MiguelRamirez.
Dont feel bad miguel, i know I'm late for responding, all I can say is just be happy, and keep being yourself, and stay positive 😃☺️
I hate that after 5 years since leaving ny job im still unemployed because Im so weak. I felt useless and worthless because I failed on staying on my job. I also felt hopeless and fearful and those detered me from finding a new job. That's why sometimes I ask myself why I was even born in this world.
