What do you hate about yourself?

That no matter what I do, whether it's for myself or for others, it never seems to be good enough. I also hate how I look and who I am.

A lot of things. But then I hate myself for hating myself because I have so many things to be grateful and thankful for and it makes me feel guilty.

What do I hate about myself and why?

I hate too many things about myself.

I wish I were interesting. Or at least more interesting. I hate feeling like I am a mind-numbingly dull person, lacking the captivating conversational skills and unique qualities of an interesting person. I hate my lack of humour, my lack of signature characteristics and my lack of uniqueness. I just feel like a bundle of ‘lack-of.

I hate my appearance. This is a tough one. I am a teenager, and a female and its pitiful how a females worth is so heavily and unconsciously tied to her appearance. We value looks, and we beat ourselves up for lacking a popularised image of ‘beauty. I hate my red hair, I hate my freckles, I hate my pale skin, I hate my big hips, I hate my baby fat, I hate my proportions, I hate my overall appearance. I wish I were a more beautiful human being: a more pleasing to look at woman. However, I wish that I did not resent myself for looking how I do and correlating my worth and value with my less than underwhelming appearance.

I hate my mediocre intelligence. I feel as though I am working with a deficit. My mind and my supposed 'intellect' is unstimulated, ineffective and just generally not good enough. I dont feel as though my voice or my words mean anything anymore. I am always told that I am intelligent, but I simply do not buy it. Perhaps this is one of those cognitive distortions, however my point is: I do not feel intelligent. Feeling less-than in my intellect just adds to all the feelings of inadequacy I already face.

I wish I were less socially-awkward. I have a tendency to be private and shy, as some social situations seem to drive me further into myself. I dont feel comfortable with myself, and so my outward presentation and expression is one of shame and vulnerability. What I hate most about my lack of social initiative is the idea of all the friendships, relationships and opportunities that pass me by because of it.

I hate my mental illness. I dont usually think of my mental illness in such a negative light. I usually try and view it as an opportunity, and something that contrasts my happy, worriless days therefore making them seem brighter. Its the tough times, the times when I am held back, the times when I am too stuck in my head and too low or anxious, when I am just existing, that I hate the mentally ill parts of myself.

On a general level, I hate myself. So many aspects of myself are inadequate, lacking, unsatisfactory or just largely bad, ugly and terrible. If I were to meet myself as another person, I would not want to know me. I cannot imagine a person ever holding a sliver of love or mere admiration for what and who I am.

I apologise for such a self-deprecative, pitiful post. I dont mean to bore you or burden you with my meandering. I hope who ever reads this hosts a lot less hatred in them, and finds ways to see and feel love for themselves. I sure hope I do someday.

My loneliness

My every second feeling of guilt

My feeling that Im not pretty enough

I hate my looks, I have low self esteem. I hate that I struggle with depression.

I hate my body, I see my self as too big.

All I see is all my imperfections.

My freckles, vains, curly hair, scars.

I know nobodys perfect. My mom tells me so.

I know I cant be perfect.

But I want to at least look lovable to myself. I think its impossible though.

People say I should eat more.

But my mind tells me to stop and just go through the hunger pains.

Im not hungry I tell myself.

I look in the mirror and all I see is a girl that is too big, with crazy hair.

I look at myself and I dont see who I want to be. Who I need to be.

Sorry that this is so in-depth about how I feel. I just need to let it out.

I hate where I'm at right now. Like personal, professional, and mentally.

Well starting towards the end of June I began to hate a lot of things about myself. From the way I look, to the things I do, and the things I haven't accomplished by the age of 23. Every birthday and every family member constantly remind me that I haven't achieved anything by my age. Hah how am I supposed to own a car, a house, have a degree, and have a relationship all by my age when they didn't even let me get a job until I turned 18. I hate the feeling that this gives me. I just want to be happy with myself and my life.

Sometimes I hate that I'm too quick to forgiveness. Even though this is good thing, in some people's eyes it makes it so that everything that I feel is automatically pointless in the next 30 minutes. To make matters worse I keep discovering the reason that I felt upset in the first place. And since I forgive very quickly I have a tendency to get upset over the little things. This begins the never ending cycle of getting mad, getting over It, and repeating.

Absolutely nothing...all Love